Do you ever feel guilty for being happy?

Joy without guilt

Hope and despondency, pleasure and pain,
Are mingled together in sun-shine and rain.
-Abraham Lincoln

About three months ago, I blogged about the vulnerability of embracing joy due to the fear that it will be more painful later when things inevitably go wrong. I believe we all agreed 🙂 that practicing joy and gratitude actually makes us better equipped to handle sorrow when it comes.

This week I’d like to explore another obstacle to fully embracing joy—the guilt associated with allowing ourselves to feel happy when someone else is suffering. Do you feel guilty enjoying your vacation when someone you love back home gets sick? What about celebrating a promotion  (even quietly) when a friend has lost his or her job? Going on a girls trip immediately following a funeral? A spa day right after learning of a devastating act of terrorism on the news? Even taking a nap while my husband is working can cause guilt for me (no matter how hard I worked earlier).

I don’t have the answer. I do know that my misery doesn’t lessen another’s burden. My support, my love might—but not my despondency or my anxiety. Refusing to acknowledge the good in your life doesn’t wipe out the bad in someone else’s. And there will always be things to worry about, to grieve over. There will also always be things to hope for, to celebrate. Why not focus on the happy things?

Of course, there is a time for crying together, expressing our sorrow, giving voice to our fears. There is value in being the shoulder to cry on, the listening ear, the sympathetic friend. I’m just saying joy should also have its place—joy not muted by guilt.

Joy without guilt

Still feeling a little guilty about your happiness? Consider these words by author Shannon Kaiser, “The world needs your joy. The more joyful you are, the more you can actually help the world. We don’t need more suffering. The world does not need more pain. By you saying yes to happiness and living with joy, you are actually healing and helping the world in a magnificent way.”

Share the joy

Let’s give it a try. What are you joyful for? Please share your happiness in the comments.

You may also like

4 Comments

  1. I’m joyful for you, the person that takes the time to write a blog so myself and other can express our joy.
    I always wonder if I’m feeling guilty, or is it I wish I just could take away someone’s pain, maybe their sorrow, just something so they can be joyful.
    I can tell everyone that reads your blog today and other times that there you, my wife, my “better half”, the love of my life does more for me and others without you realizing it. You care so much that guilty shouldn’t be the way you feel, but “caring” would be the word, and I never second guess that about you. ❌⭕️❌⭕️

  2. Great topic! Along those same lines – I feel so guilty for having a wonderful day at home when my hubby has had a really yukky day at work. He comes in looking so dejected and forlorn that it just seems wrong to have had such a great day… not sure how to get around it.

    1. That’s a tough one for sure. Maybe that’s one of those “listening ear” times. But sometimes that brings you down too. Why can’t our good days always line up? Or better yet, why can’t every day be a fantastic day! 🙂

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *