What would you do?

In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few. ~Shunryu Suzuki, Japanese Zen monk
In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, but in the expert’s there are few. ~Shunryu Suzuki, Japanese Zen monk

When you were a child, your mother, or a teacher, or some other significant adult probably told you, “You can be anything you want to be.” What was it you wanted to be? Movie star, doctor, fire fighter, president, Spiderman!?! Did you make it? If not, what stopped you?

Maybe your dream has changed since then. What would you do today if you knew you couldn’t fail–and if you didn’t risk shame or judgment? (Pause here for thoughtful contemplation.)

If you’re not actively pursuing that dream, why not? What are the risks?

On the other hand, what are the risks of not doing what you really want to–or something similar thereto? (Cause let’s face it, we can’t actually be anything we want to be. At age 54, my chances of replacing Erin Andrews or Cat Deeley are fading fast. But, maybe I can think of some other spokesperson/mother/coach role that comes with a stylist and hair and makeup artists. Hmmm….I’ll have to think about that. Suggestions?)

Seriously, though, I have to agree with Jen Sincero (a life coach, author, and major baddass): “We throw a wet blanket of ho-hummery over our lives when we live in fear of what others might think, instead of celebration of who we are.” (You are a Badass: How to stop doubting your greatness and start living an awesome life)

This life is too short for ho-hummery. But going for the gold is scary. Jen has a motto that eases the pressure considerably: “I just wanna see what I can get away with.” Try this on for size:

I just wanna see if I can start my own successful business; I just wanna see if I can get myself out of debt and make one hundred thousand dollars more this year; I just wanna see if I can lose a hundred pounds; I just wanna see if I can sell one of my paintings for fifty grand; I just wanna see if I can meet my soul mate.

Instead of avoiding new adventures, because we might fail (or worse, look silly trying), what if we just gave one a try-just to see what we could get away with? What is it you wanna try? Please share–however grand or small.

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24 Comments

  1. This is such a great post for me right now. I have spent the last year or two really trying to “see what I can do”. Some of it has failed but much of it has succeeded. Things have not gone the way I planned but I have to say that in many ways, they have gone beyond what I thought was possible. Something I have discovered along the way is that fear is powerful and because of it, we limit ourselves. If we can push through the fear, we often soar. We spend so much time telling ourselves that we can’t possibly accomplish this or that or we don’t have the right talents, we aren’t good enough or smart enough, etc, etc. We place limits on ourselves all the time. Things i am learning in my journey are that I am so much more than I give myself credit for, I am stronger than I ever knew possible. Fear is something that can be worked through and often overcome. I have learned that I have a lot to give to others and I have learned to allow myself to be happy and that I deserve it. I have grown so much by simply giving myself permission and fighting through the fear. I feel that everyone should allow themselves to dream big and then “see what they can get away with”!

  2. I totally agree Christie and as I look to turning 60 later this year I am happy to report that life is great. I don’t think of life as a number but rather what experiences I can enjoy each day. Midlife and beyond means we can focus on us and what we want from life. I think we also are wiser and don’t worry so much about what others think. Thanks for linking up with us at #BloggingGrandmothersLinkParty. Hope to see you at the next one.

    1. Thanks for stopping by Sue. This time of life can be truly wonderful. We’ve built so many happy memories–and coping skills for the difficult time–and many of us have more time, money, and confidence to try new things, build more memories! Happy Monday!

  3. “Ho-hummery” — that’s my new word of the day! Love it. At age 66, my old dream of being a prima ballerina with NYC Ballet is fading fast. Thanks for sharing at #BloggingGrandmothersLinkParty. I’ve shared your post on social media.

  4. This is wonderful! I just wanna see if I can build my blog and organization/crafting blog to the point that it subsidizes my current salary to the point I don’t need the salary anymore. Let’s see how this works. 🙂 I enjoyed this positive article. #BloggingGrandmothersLinkParty. I’ve shared your post on social media.

  5. “Ho-hummery!!” Love that word…and plan to borrow it! Thanks for a great post, Christie.
    I enjoyed co-hosting this linkup with you…and look forward to the next one!

  6. Christie,
    This year is a big one for me I guess, turning 70. Yikes, I always thought that was really old, now I think it is young. I have done everything I have wanted to and then some. I think life plays a part in what we do and where we go, but I would not change anything.
    When I was young, we worried about the kids and then college and then they got married. Now I enjoy the grand kids and life is awesome.
    Hugs,
    Bev

    1. What a great outlook, Bev. Isn’t it funny how old age starts later and later the older we get? And aren’t grandkids the best? Here’s to many more awesome experiences!

  7. When I was growing up I wanted to be a teacher and a linebacker for the Dallas Cowboys. Everyone told me I could be a cheerleader but that’s not what I wanted. One great uncle told me I could be anything I wanted to be. I adored him. 🙂 What I became was a mom to 4 daughters and, after they grew up, I took a teaching position. What I’d like now is to be happy. That’s it. Just happy. Not that I don’t fake it quite well, I do. But to have that true happiness some changes would have to happen that just can’t right now. This is a wonderful post!

    1. Your chance at a linebacker with the Dallas Cowboys might have slipped away, but perhaps there is a grandmother’s football league somewhere, huh? In all seriousness, I wish you happiness, even if in small doses right now. One of my favorite quotes is “When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life.” 🙂

  8. It’s amazing to think that it’s taken until our 50’s to be brave enough to try things out of our comfort zone. The generations after us all started so much earlier. But I go with the motto “if not now, then when?” and it’s certainly worth giving it a go if it’s nudging you isn’t it?
    Leanne | cresting the hill

    1. I like your philosophy, Leanne. Even if what you try doesn’t turn out to be your thing, if you learned something new or made a new friend, or even just stretched yourself, it was a success. I think I was always afraid of failing or looking silly, but I’ve learned that failure isn’t terminal and looking silly once in a while isn’t such a bad thing. Cheers!

  9. I’m back again! I just want to be happy with as less stress as possible and be with those that love me and those I love. Traveling adventures with hubby as soon as he retires 🙂

    1. Those are wonderful goals. I do find that running burns off stress for me. My husband and I like to travel as well. As soon, as we retire, I hope to do a lot more of it! Thanks again for hosting the link party!

  10. Hi Christie

    At age 46 I was the mother of two children aged 9 and 12. I hadn’t worked in quite a few years as I was a stay at home Mom and it was then that I left my husband of 26 years. I scrambled to find employment and did. I won’t go into the reasons that leaving was necessary. When I was 57 I was offered a great job and more money. I took the job, but by age 62 I was made redundant at work. What a shock that was. Where do you find employment at that age?

    My daughter knew how much I enjoyed interior decorating and so she urged me to go back to school. It was after I graduated that I started to think about what I should be doing. The better part of a year later and after thinking real hard about it I started writing my blog on the subject of interior decorating.

    My mother told me when I was a child that I could do anything. I finally believe her. I can do anything, except that now there are certain age-related limitations. I don’t care if I am seen as silly, or too old. It has taken most of my life to conclude that I don’t care what anyone thinks about me other than me. We always think people are judging us and most of the time they don’t notice what we are doing.

    I do believe that we need to live each phase of our lives the best that we can. We need to help each other whenever we can. I am happy that I have my partner of a number of years and his family, my family, children, and grandchildren.

    Life doesn’t get much better than it is right now.

    1. Thanks for sharing your inspiring story, Barbara. It’s never too late, as long as we’re breathing, to try something new. We are constantly growing and recreating ourselves. You have accomplished some amazing things and overcome huge challenges. You’re a rock star! I’m so glad you’re reaping the rewards and enjoying the life you’ve created. Cheers!

  11. This is such a great post. I have spent way too much of my life worrying about what other people think. One of the best things about growing older (besides grandkids!), has been to start accepting myself as is and letting go of that worry. Pinned!

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