Stress less, celebrate more

Woman stressing over the computer

Since I announced last month that I would be refocusing my writing efforts on my novel, I have received an editorial assessment of my first draft from a professional editor with years of experience working for well-known agencies. The opening and closing paragraphs of her assessment were glowing:

It has been an absolute pleasure to be immersed in Joan’s world these past few weeks…this novel is so assured, the characters so vivid and lifelike, that I’m astonished it’s a debut. This is a fantastic first draft, and with some fairly minimal revision I think you can easily begin querying agents.

Your writing is so strong, your ear for dialogue so sharp, that I don’t necessarily think hiring a developmental editor would be cost-effective…I think your next step after some revision should be to query agents… I hope you feel very proud of what you’ve done so far—I think this novel has a very bright future ahead of it.

If anyone else had shared this kind of review about their writing with me, I would have been ecstatic for them, maybe even a little envious. So why was I feeling what could only be described as stressed out?

After some soul-searching and input from Coach Allison Task, I came to two conclusions. I hope by sharing my experience, I can help others avoid these pitfalls and take more joy in their efforts—be they writing or something else.

Celebrate achievements along the way

I forgot to celebrate my achievement. Certainly I appreciated the praise as I read it, but as soon as I got to the meat of the assessment—the suggested areas for “fairly minimal revision”—I went immediately into critic mode. How did I miss that? How am I going to fix that? If I knew how to do that, I would have done it in the first place. This is going to be a lot of work…. You get the idea.

I would have been better served to stop and celebrate my achievements thus far. I wrote a debut novel that is assured, vivid, astonishing! The fact that it’s not quite ready for publication does not take away from that major achievement. I do not have to wait for the finish line to celebrate. I need to take joy in the milestones along the way.

As Allison points out in her book, Personal (R)evolution, celebrating isn’t only about the joy of the celebration (which is reason enough), but it will also help you with future goals.

By reflecting on your accomplishment, you’re reinforcing the action you took and the tools you used to make it happen. The more you sink into your successes, the more prepared you are to mobilize those tools to create future success. The more you recognize that you can do hard things, the more likely are you to do the next hard thing.

For more about the importance of celebrating and how and why to do it, I recommend reading Personal (R)evolution. For now, suffice it to say, we all need to stop and celebrate more often!

Not all stress is bad

Yes, I am feeling some stress, but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Rather than trying to rid myself of all stress, I can reinterpret stress as a healthy, natural response to starting a new challenge. I am doing something I’ve never done before. If that doesn’t create some stress in my body, I just might be dead. There is a name for what I am feeling: eustress, a positive form of stress having a beneficial effect on motivation and performance. Eustress is my body giving me the extra energy I need to do this important work. Instead of trying to push the stress down, I am learning to put it to work to invigorate my writing.

If you are trying to cope with the stress of an important project, simply changing the way you look at the stress may help. Remember, the level of stress you feel is an indicator of how much you care about the project. Stress is just a feeling, and all feelings are temporary. This will pass. In the meantime, focus on the task at hand, rather than the feeling. Put the extra energy into the task ahead of you.

So while I titled this post Stress less, celebrate more, perhaps a more appropriate title would be Stress better, celebrate more.

Your turn

  1. Do you have a major project in the works? Can you tell us what it is?
  2. What are your best tricks for putting eustress to work for you?
  3. What is your favorite way to celebrate an achievement?

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50 Comments

  1. Wow – congrats!
    I am also working on a writing project — my issue is that I have more than one (novel, nonfiction reflections, 3 completed children’s board/picture books) and can’t seem to focus on which I should pursue first. I personally do not tend to celebrate achievements – perhaps I haven’t really had any to celebrate yet!
    Thanks for sharing your wonderful achievement – I look forward to reading your novel when it is published!

    1. I can’t even imagine working on more than one book and a blog at the same time. I can see how it would be hard to focus on just one with all that in the hopper. At least you know when you finish one, you’ll have another lined up to go. I suspect you have many accomplishments to celebrate if you let yourself. I fell in that same trap thinking the book had to be done and published before there was anything to celebrate. Allison helped me realize that finishing the first draft was a huge accomplishment worthy of celebration. I hope you’ll keep me posted on your writing projects. I’d love to read them when the time comes.

  2. Christie, Having just gotten editor feedback on my first draft, all I can say is the comments you received are wonderful! I also have not celebrated the completion of my first draft. It made me realize I don’t often celebrate any milestone achievements anymore. Selling our last home (after 5 months on the market) was a missed celebratory moment. Completing radiation treatment…another. You are right – I need to look forward and celebrate more!

    That said, every writer misses things. That’s why there are editors! We “read” what we think is there (what we intended to be there)…and miss basic typos, logic flaws, and many other elements. Everyone does it…it’s why there are proof readers as well since you probably will not catch a “you” versus a “your”! I was actually thrilled that my editor pointed all those things out to me. Now I don’t have to search for them. 🙂 Yes, I have work to do. But now I can focus on the specific areas to change instead of searching for them. And the end-point second draft will be even better.

    Congrats on your first, amazingly written first draft. I’ll be in line to purchase it!

  3. I’m fortunate enough to be living under the same roof as you, the“author” and I get to see first hand the hard work and commitment you have put into this project. I also get to see and read the comments that the “professionals “ insert about your writing, and it doesn’t surprise me what they say. It is very gratifying to me when others validate what I’ve always known and seen about your writing skills.
    The heart and soul that you have and continue to have, is second to none.
    Congrats Chris, you are amazing in everything that you do, and I couldn’t be happier to get to watch and be at your side as you get even closer to a dream come true.❤️❌⭕️❌⭕️

  4. Congratulations, Christie – The opening and closing paragraphs of your editorial assessment are very high praise indeed. I hope that you do take the time to celebrate. I would be doing a MAJOR HAPPY DANCE if an editor wrote that about my writing! Well done! I greatly look forward to reading your novel.

  5. Oh my, if you don’t take time out to celebrate that glowing praise, you will have missed out basking from a major achievement! Congratulations! Oh, and hurry up making those revisions… we are anxious to read your debut novel! (No pressure, though 🙂 .)

  6. That is so exciting to get that positive feedback, Christie! Congrats on getting over that hurdle! Good stress is “eustress” the feeling of anxiousness before a wedding, major life event or other positive things (my first days of teaching my classes), and our bodies still secrete cortisol and adrenaline as if it was the bad stress or “distress.” Celebrating our successes is just the motivation we need to keep things going! Looking forward to reading someday! Reading from #MLSTL today!

    1. Thanks for the encouragement Terri. That’s exactly what I realized; my body feels the same with eustress as it does with distress. I just had to change my attitude about it, and I felt better. That, and pausing to celebrate my accomplishments so far before jumping right into the next phase of work.

  7. Congratulations, Christie, what a wonderful achievement. Isn’t it strange how we all have that inner critic that just accept praise? I’m a firm believer in celebrating your steps along the way to achieving the final goal. It helps build self-esteem and motivation.

    I recently completed my second marathon in six years and although I was much slower than I had hoped, instead of beating myself up I reminded myself that at two weeks from 61 I just ran 42.2kms and that is something not many 61 year olds or younger people do. Plus I have the medal to prove it! 🙂

    Thank you for being part of our #MLSTL community and I look forward to you joining us each week. xx

    1. Congratulations on such a major accomplishment. I can’t imagine running another marathon at this stage of my life. I know how much work goes into getting yourself ready, let alone running the race. You bring up a good point though. Perhaps what we need are medals for all of our accomplishments, like they give out at races. I actually won’t sign up for a race (other than 5ks for a cause) that doesn’t give out finisher medals. I’m never going to win a race, but I am proud of myself for completing each one, and I want the medal hanging on my wall.

  8. That’s awesome feedback to receive – and yes, you should celebrate it. We tend to dwell on the “buts” and forget about the big picture. These days when I get feedback from my editor I allow myself to revel in the great stuff and then step back to tackle the improvements. As I remind myself – I’m paying her to help me make it the best it can be. That way the energy is channelled and I enjoy the editing process.

    1. Thanks for the advice Joanne. As a newby, I’m still learning the tricks of the trade, including how to enjoy the process. I appreciate your input and am off to visit your site and see what you’re up to.

  9. Congratulations! That is fantastic feedback and most certainly worthy of celebrating! I have no major works in progress to speak of but I wish I did. I think you have a very exciting future ahead of you. All the very best of luck with it! 🙂

  10. Christie that is absolutely fantastic – what a commendation of your writing! I bet every single debut novelist would love to have received the feeback you got! Yes you should be celebrating – then fix up the few little things she suggested and get it out there to those literary agents – you could be the next JK Rowling – and I know you! I feel famous by association!
    #MLSTL 🙂

    1. If every book takes as long as this one has, I’ll have to live to a ripe old age to become as prolific as JK Rowling! I am happy to be making progress on it again. Thanks, as always Leanne, for your encouragement and for bringing the MLSTL community together. I can always count on them for support and new ideas. I hope in some small way I contribute the same for them.

  11. Wow, congratulations, so much to celebrate – hop to it (the celebration I mean). A really important post Christie and one I am happy to share on social media.

  12. It’s so interesting to read your thoughts here Christie and I think I can understand what you’re saying. It’s important to share the celebrations and achievements but we often don’t do it when it’s us. I try to share my achievements by telling people but then it can make me seem too big headed, so it’s a fine balance ?. You deserve to celebrate, it’s a such great feedback. #mlstl

    1. Exactly Debbie. It’s easy to celebrate others, but it feels strange to toot our own horns. The thing is even with primarily solitary endeavors, like writing, there are a lot of people who contributed–gave life to your project–and they want to celebrate with you. Then there are those who weren’t directly involved, but care about you and are rooting for you. Your good news is their good news. By sharing your achievement, you are sharing your joy. At least that’s what Allison told me. 🙂

  13. Congratulations, Christie! What wonderful comments from your editor. I can so relate to your post. I have a second book in the works, and am at the point of making commitments to my publisher about a date, giving me a deadline. I feel sick when I think about it instead of excited. As long as this was a faraway project in an unending pipeline I was comfortable. By making it ‘real’ I’m now stressing out. But your reassuring words tell me to not worry about that, and to notice it and move on. I’m going to do that today! #MLSTL

    1. Congratulations, Molly, on having a second book so close to publication. If my post helped you move forward in some small way, I am honored and happy about that. Keep me posted, so I can be one of the first to buy the new book.

  14. Gosh, Christie….what an amazing accomplishment.
    I have to think your editor knows a thing or two, so you should feel great. We are human, so of course we are going to miss certain details….
    I can’t wait to read this!!
    My husband has been hoping to write a book. in fact, we’ve been to a couple of conferences, but his drive isn’t quite as strong….
    XOXO
    Jodie
    http://www.jtouchofstyle.com

    1. Thank you Jodie and welcome to So What? Now What? When the time is right for your husband to write (see what I did there?), he’ll find the drive I’m sure. Did you enjoy the conferences? I keep telling myself I’m going to go to one, but I haven’t yet.

  15. That’s great news, but like you, I’d be inclined to gloss over the compliments and focus on the hard work I have yet to do… So, we’re all giving you a pat on the back and saying “great job, Christie!” I’m thinking about writing a memoir… And yes. It’s a lot to bite off! #MLSTL Brenda

  16. First of all … HUGE Congratulations are in order! How marvelous and I’m glad you shared with us.
    Second of all… I can relate.
    I self-published an MG novel last year. While I had many reasons for going the indie rather than traditional route, deep down inside, I feared my book wasn’t good enough and I couldn’t stand the critical rejection.
    In March of this year, I decided to send the MS to a developmental editor who worked with Scholastic Books. I wanted to hear from an objective professional if my book had merit. I fully expected her to rip the novel apart. Instead… she had kind words (as well as helpful suggestions for improvement).
    I wish you the best of luck. I know you can complete those revisions and see the project to completion. KUDOS!

    1. Thanks for sharing your experience Molly. I have considered self-publishing–and I haven’t ruled that out yet–but I was afraid of publishing something that wasn’t good. That’s why I hired a professional. With her encouragement, I’m back to querying agents for now. If it doesn’t get picked up, I may still try self-publishing. At least I have the assurance from a professional that anyone besides my own family would enjoy the book. Writing is hard. 🙂

  17. Big congratulations Christie. What s fabulous review to receive. You definitely need to step back for s moment and appreciate the result of your work. Also I would be putting that review in a frame!

  18. Congratulations on the glowing review. I look forward to reading this novel. Eustress is not a term that I’ve heard before although I have heard of the concept that some stress is just excitement at tackling the project.
    I’m glad you took the time to appreciate yourself for your achievement – one needs to take time to do that.
    My project is – a half written novel in the pipeline that has recently been rescued from the cupboard (figurative – more like the cupboard in the laptop) where it has been languishing.
    Hopping over from the midlife linky party where I couldn’t put my linky because I dawdled.

    1. My novel had been languishing for a couple of years when I finally rescued it from the depths of my laptop. I’m glad to hear you rescued yours as well. I appreciate you hopping over from #MLSTL, even though you didn’t get linked up. I’m headed over to your blog now. Enjoy your day!

  19. I have always thought I would write a book but then when I struggle with writing our blog I can’t imagine writing a book. Good for you for taking the steps needed to bring your book out. Sometimes stress can work in our favor depending on how we use it.

    1. I felt the same way before I started, Victoria. I had never written fiction or anything with dialogue, which was terrifying to me for some reason. I knew I wanted to tell this story, though, so I took a stab at a really poor first draft and then worked with a coach who had more experience. Somehow, shockingly, I created something that closely resembles a novel. If you still want to write a book, you should definitely do it!

  20. Congratulations Christie, that is wonderful feedback. I hope it spurs you on to making those minor changes and getting your book out there to some agents. I’m sure it will be snapped up in no time. I look forward to reading your “I’M PUBLISHED!!!!” post xx

    1. Thanks Sue. I am working on the revisions now and (at least for today) actually enjoying the process. There will be an “I’m published” post in my future–whether it’s through traditional or self-publishing remains to be seen.

  21. Sometimes we impose too much stress on ourselves. I wrote a book in 1996, and it’s still sitting in the closed with the editor marks all over it, because I was too stressed out over making all the corrections. Now that I look back on it, I would have to basically write the entire book over. It was a very stressful time, but now what I do to relieve stress is to clean. LOL. Writing a blog is so much easier. #bloggingGrandmothersLinkParty

    1. First, Stacey, it’s so good to have you as a cohost of #BloggingGrandmothersLinkParty. Welcome! Second, I totally understand how you feel about the book. From one writer to another, if you love the book, pull it back out. You can do it! If you’re happy with it in the closet, let it lie until it calls to you. Or just do what ever you want to, and don’t heed my un-asked-for advice. 🙂 Enjoy your weekend!

  22. Hi Christie

    Trust yourself. As I was reading I was thinking “trust yourself.” I’m not sure if the thought was for you or me. Probably both. I am writing a memoir about a wonderful time in my life. Most memoirs I read/studied are about hard times and tragedy. Would people be interested in my “good” times? Are good times something people want to read? I recently joined the Insecure Writers Support Group (IWSG) to help me with my self-doubt.

    I love eustress!!! I had not heard that term before. Even my spellchecker could not find it. I added it to my dictionary. I will definitely re-frame how I look at stress in all aspects of my life.
    Congratulations on your glowing review from your editor. Am I jealous along with my happiness for you? You betcha! But, it’s a good jealous. It will move me forward to my own good review when my memoir gets to that stage.

    Enjoy your success and thanks for nudge.
    Laura

    1. Wise words, Laura: trust yourself. I, for one, would love to read a memoir about happy times. There is much to be learned from the challenging times, but the good times hold value of their own. I’ve never heard of the Insecure Writers Support Group, but I am going to look into it. It definitely describes me. Thanks for the encouragement and good luck with your memoir!

  23. Christie, what an amazing, wonderful editor’s review of your book. Now we all want to read it:) Revisions are always hard but the end result will be magical. I like your reminder to celebrate achievement milestones more. Thanks for a new word for me ‘ eustress’ let’s channel that energy to make it work for us.

    We will feature this post on the next Blogger’s Pit Stop – good encouragement for all, not just authors.
    Kathleen

  24. Christie, I am happy and excited for you and yes you should have celebrated! My plan may not be right for you but here’s what I aim to do. You already know that you have a way with words and the professional editor just verified that with their assessment. So, for me I will write my book and self-publish. Authors can go for years trying to get a book published, hiring a writing coach, hiring an agent, resubmitting and hoping an editor will think it’s worth publishing. Since I’m in my 50s, I don’t have all those years to wait and stress about it until or if it ever gets published in my lifetime. Hubby and I think self-publishing is the way to go for me. I know there are pros and cons either way but this is my plan. I wish you much success and can’t wait to read the book! Shared x 4 ♥

    1. What you say makes a lot of sense, Dee. I am still working through which is best for me and plan to write a post soon on the pros and cons of self-publishing versus traditional publishing. I’d love to hear about your publishing plans. I hope I’ll have the chance to read your book. Thanks for sharing!

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