My 2023 New Year’s Rejections
The blogosphere is currently full of posts about New Year’s Resolutions and Words of the Year. I even contributed one. I remain unapologetic about that; however, my fellow blogger Ally Bean took a different approach that I find intriguing, New Year’s Rejections.
It occurs to me that these two approaches are not mutually exclusive. In fact, rejecting habits, things, or attitudes that no longer serve you can help make space for the new resolutions or intentions on which you want to focus. So here I go…
My 2023 New Year’s Rejections
Not-so-social media
Years ago, when I joined my first social media platform I did so with the intent of being social…to connect with people in a friendly, supportive way. I’m happy to see your accomplishments, where you went on vacation, even the deliciousness that you are about to consume. I don’t mind hearing about your struggles, being notified of your latest blog post, or helping you find a lost pet.
What I don’t care to see is name-calling, demonization of anyone that doesn’t agree with your worldview, or any of the other antisocial behavior that is becoming more prevalent online. So, I will be narrowing my social media connections in 2023…not based on whether I agree with the author’s viewpoints or opinions, but whether I’m comfortable with the tone of the message. For me, the emphasis is on social media. I will get my news or engage in serious conversations elsewhere.
Clutter…as in unnecessary possessions and thoughts
Decluttering has been an ongoing theme for me, since I first posted this New Year’s Resolution in 2016. For 2023, my emphasis is on rejecting the acquisition of additional possessions. Before I bring any new item into our home, I will ask myself, “Do I really need this, and does it bring me joy (and not just for the moment)?” If it doesn’t pass the test, it doesn’t come home.
And, while the focus is on not obtaining more stuff, I’m not ignoring existing clutter. My husband and I have placed a bin in our closet, and any time we come across something that does not meet those same requirements (useful or joyful…preferably both), we put them in the bin. When it’s full, we will make a trip to Good Will.
When it comes to a cluttered mind, if I start feeling scattered or overwhelmed, I will ask myself, “Is this line of thought helpful? Is it bringing me joy?” If not, I will tell that inner voice, “Thank you for your concern. I appreciate the input, but you may go now.” (Come to think of it, that response could be useful with some external voices too.)
The word “should”
This one applies to internal and external forces as well. I reject telling myself I should be or do [insert any number of pressures I put on myself]. Of course, I’m not saying there aren’t some things I must do…brush my teeth, move my body, take care of the dog. What I am primarily referring to here are the many nonessential shoulds I place upon myself. And when it comes to the essentials, it’s a matter of shifting attitude. Instead of “I should or I must…,” saying, “I am so grateful to move and stretch my body. I get to take a break and play with the dog.” You get the idea.
The external focus of rejecting “should” is releasing all the expectations about things I can’t control. That driver in front of me should be driving faster, and the one behind me should be driving slower. The sun should be shining. That person shouldn’t be talking so loud in the restaurant. That sort of thing. Rejecting expectation about what should have been and working with the current circumstances as they are.
Rejections support intentions
So that’s it for me. Those are my New Year’s Rejections for 2023. I believe they support my Word of the Year nicely. Rejecting not-so-social media, clutter, and should will definitely help me be more grounded in 2023.
Your turn
- What are you rejecting in 2023?
- What, if any, social media platform do you prefer?
- What else is on your mind…anything at all; I just love to hear from you.
Oh Christie I loved all of these – and they’re all priorities in my life too. I’ve unfollowed several people on FB due to their negative attitudes and I’m not on IG because it doesn’t bring me joy – it just reminds me of what I don’t have or don’t do. We lived a very uncluttered and minimal life – I’ve even taken to buying any new clothes from the op/thrift shops that are popping up everywhere. I’ve had some fabulous finds for very few $ and I’m reducing landfill in the process. And “should” is getting less dominance in my life these days – I don’t like it and it’s not helpful when it comes to focusing on contentment. Great post 🙂
Hello Leanne. It’s so helpful to follow your instinct on what brings you joy when it comes to social media…and all the other information we are bombarded with on a regular basis. I love that you are recycling clothing as well…giving new life to items that would otherwise be discarded. I won’t say I “should” do that, but it’s something to think about. Thanks for the inspiration.
Hi Christie, if a sentence begins with ‘I should…’ that means I’m feeling somewhat guilty. If a sentence begins with ‘they should…’ I’m probably annoyed, impatient, or simply trying to control/dictate the behavior of someone else. Either way, it needs to go. Thanks for the reminder to ‘reject’ should.
As for social media. I am on FB, but I don’t post to my account anymore or look at my feed. The account is purely for participation in local Photography groups, which are generally positive. I post regularly on Instagram and follow mostly photographers and bloggers. I think the key here is to focus on personal interests. I also find it very helpful when researching trips, especially when pictures are linked to websites. Point is, the stuff I feed my brain with is generally positive, informative, and uplifting.
Now that we are in a small space, clutter must be tended regularly. So, we have circled back to ‘I should’, as in I should be reorganizing the utility closet that got messy during the holidays.
I read Ally’s post and was inspired by it as well. As you have said, rejections support our intentions, and achieving our intentions is the ultimate goal. Thanks for another reflective post.
Hello Suzanne. That’s a great way to describe the dangers of “should.” And I agree that there are benefits to social media, if you are discerning about what you give your attention to. I do love some of the beautiful photography I see on Instagram especially. Good luck with the utility closet you “get to” reorganize! 😉
Thanks for the shoutout. I’m pleased that my post resonated with you. I laughed out loud and nodded my head in agreement about rejecting “Not-so-social media.” Amen, sister.
As for *should* years ago a wise older woman who was a good friend of my mother told me that I “mustn’t let the world ‘should’ on me.” Great advice. Instead of saying “I ‘should’ do something,” she suggested I say “I ‘shall’ do something.” It’s more empowering to say it that way.
You’re welcome, Ally. Thank you for the inspiration. I like the idea of replacing “I should” with “I shall,” since “I get to” doesn’t always feel authentic.
Hi Christie, I agree with ALL of these! I nodded throughout this post, but especially with what you said about social media. I also use social media to be social. Keep in touch with friends and family far away, chat and see what they’re up to. Now most platforms are mostly marketing or activism platforms. I really dislike what social media has become and I’m becoming more passive on all platforms. The least irritating one is probably Instagram these days, although I really dislike the focus on video but at least I have a quite pleasant feed there (as long as they keep the ”following” feed option). But I don’t really post anywhere anymore, only sometimes. Blogs are my social media!
I’m with you, Susanne. I enjoy seeing what my friends and family are posting, but I get annoyed scrolling through all the marketing and activism to get to those more personal posts. I do love reading blogs, since I get to choose exactly which ones I will read and with whom I will connect.
What a great twist on the usual new year posts Christie, I agree with many of your rejections and also Ally’s, her post was really good!
As to me I’m thinking of rejecting platitudes that are often used as they really don’t seem to do much apart from make the person saying them feel better; generalisations also annoy me and being dishonest in any way. Quite a good way of thinking about how we want the year to turn out! Thanks for sharing Ally’s post and your thoughts too.
I’m glad you enjoyed the posts, Debbie, and I love the rejections you are considering. What a different world it would be if we would all be more intentional and honest in our communications. I appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts here.
Hi, Christie – Those are wonderful rejections. I also have a large plastic bag in my closet where i place any clothes or other items that could now better serve others. Living 2023 clutter free is also a goal of mind (both in materials and in mind).
Wishing you a happy and healthy year ahead!
Good luck with your decluttering goals for 2023, Donna! It seems to be an ongoing struggle for me, but I am definitely making progress. I also wish for you and yours a happy and healthy year ahead!
I do spend too much time on social media, so I need to think about reducing that this year. I try and skip over the negativity, but it is so pervasive! And yeah – the shoulds. I’m trying to manage a big one right now. It’s an interesting approach – what to reject this year. (Oh, I really like your new blog theme!)
Thank you for the feedback, Pat. I am happy with the new look. As for social media, I find myself gradually spending less time there. Sometimes I go directly to friends’ Facebook pages to see their posts, rather than going through the home feed. Good luck with your “should” efforts. I like Ally’s suggestion to replace “I should” with “I shall.” That does feel more empowering.
I liked this a lot. I admit I am probably on social media too often and I can see how it can affect me too. I do it, in some ways, to remain connected. But I also miss real life connections and that will be changing in a few months as we move back home to the ‘big city’ and I can plan get togethers and attend meetings and so on in my capacity as a volunteer Ambassador for Head and Neck Cancer Australia (they do have good works to share and social media is a place where I re-tweet and share too).
And everytime I say ‘should’ I go..’oh no’ not that anymore!
Great to have your blog shared on Wednesday’s Words and Pics this week. Thank you so much for your support. I hope to see you next week too. Denyse.
Thank you, Denyse. I am happy for you to be moving where you can have more in-person connections. I agree that they win over online connections every time. Of course, there is a place for online connections, especially with loved ones who live far away, and it is a great medium for sharing useful or uplifting information. Thank you for hosting Wednesday’s Words and Pics. I will definitely be back.
I’m about to head over to catch up with Ally’s posts for this year, and have to admit that the title of that one intrigued me. I’m not someone who makes resolutions, although I do enjoy a word of the year giving me a focus. But there are lots of things that I need to cull, or at least bring back into control, and some of them will appear on your list (and potentially Ally’s too). Having been ill for the first week or so of the year, I’m feeling in catch-up mode, but suspect I shall be writing something similar myself in due course.
I use LinkedIn for my coaching business and – most days – I enjoy it. I like Instagram as I’m a photographer, although it’s becoming more about selling and videos, so I have to curate my feed. Facebook is a tool, and one I’m probably going to need to use more professionally, but I’m not fond of it.
I’m sorry to hear you weren’t feeling well, Debs, and hope you are doing better now. I suspect we all have things in our lives we could benefit from culling. I think that’s why Ally’s post struck a cord with so many people. If you do decide to writing a rejections-type post, I will be interested to see what things you choose to focus on. I sometimes forget about LinkedIn when I think of social media, but for the most part that is one that seems to be still serving its initial purpose.
There’s an increasing number of people commenting “this isn’t Facebook” so I’m guessing it’s starting to move in that direction. We’ll see…
I think you may be right, Debs.
Hi Christie, such a positive way to approach a new year. I gave up on New Year Resolutions a number of years ago and have used a WOTY as a guide since. That works for me, but it doesn’t always work for everyone. Over the last couple of years I’ve started to really reflect on what brings me joy and trying to let go of what is robbing me of living life well. It’s not always easy but I think a New Year’s rejections list is such a powerful approach. Thanks for the idea and happy New Year xx
Hello Sue. As I recall, you were one of the ladies that inspired me to choose a Word of the Year several years ago, and I’ve continued with that approach since then. So thank you for that. I really like the idea of combining a WOTY with rejections that support that word. Happy New Year to you and yours as well!
Happy new year, friend!! Social media is exhausting. I don’t know how everyone manages to comment, watch the reels, like the photos and live a fulfilling life, too. I am doing something wrong over here. I just don’t know what!!
I have been guilty of whining about the world a time or two lately on Facebook. Most of all about the immigration situation affecting our community. Probably not the right platform for my concern and complaints. I just don’t know that the rest of the world is truly seeing clearly what is happening in El Paso. And even El Pasoans are missing a lot while they sleep each night. But there I go again.
Hoping to declutter some this year, too. And write more. Somehow deleted all the bookmarked blogs I follow a couple of days ago and I am trying to remember them all and bookmark them again.
Happy new year, Christie.
Happy New Year to you too Leslie! It’s so good to hear from you. I agree it is impossible to keep up with everything on social media. I don’t even try. I’m not personally opposed to people posting challenging things that they are experiencing, even a little “whining.” What gets me is when people are hateful in their presentation or in a way that doesn’t allow for other perspectives. Immigration is such a complex issue. I wish I had the answer.
Good luck getting your blogs bookmarked again. I’m glad you found me! 😁