Free advice for those just starting out…or Life lessons I wish I had learned sooner
Five years ago, I posted this advice for those just starting out in life, including our oldest grandson, who was just graduating from high school. Well, now that same grandson is getting married soon, and knowing how much young people love free advice from their elders…don’t they?…I thought I’d offer this up again.
Take advantage of the opportunities life presents you.
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did so. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.”
~Mark Twain
Don’t let other peoples’ opinions or your own fears keep you from doing the things you truly want to do. I’m not saying you should act rashly without concern for consequences. I am saying if you have an opportunity to experience something new, travel, learn a skill, make a friend, take your dream job…do it. Even if it doesn’t work out exactly like you planned (and it rarely does), you will learn a little more about who you are and what you want out of life. Failure is just an opportunity for learning and growth.
And while I’m giving free advice, let me sneak in one extra tidbit. While you’re taking advantage of these opportunities, be present in the moment. If you’re thinking too much (remembering, analyzing, planning), take a break from your thoughts and check in with your sensations. Enjoy the here and now.
Take care of your body; it catches up to you faster than you think.
Those who think they have not time for bodily exercise will sooner or later have to find time for illness.”
~Edward Stanley
I know, right now you are young and invincible. Your body is strong and keeps on going even if you feed it junk food and deprive it of sleep, but that won’t always be the case. And life sneaks up on you faster than you think. What you do to your body today, you will have to live with tomorrow. If you want to stretch out the adventure of life, and take full advantage of all this amazing world has to offer, show your body a little love today. As an added bonus, you’ll feel even better now…I promise! Eating healthy can taste delicious, and being physically active can be fun. You just have to be creative about it…experiment a little, find what works for you.
The people in your life matter more than anything else.
In life, there are millions of human contacts and sometimes an unexpected meeting changes the trajectory through space and time just ever so slightly and nothing remains the same…In this world of mass confusion and hurried existence, human contact still continues to be the most profound impact in our short lives.”
~Sim Gill
Experiences are great. Things can be enjoyable. But nothing compares to the connections we make with people. No matter how busy your life gets, make time for family and friends; be kind to everyone you come in contact with; look for opportunities to connect with new people. Be open to people from all backgrounds, age groups, opinions, lifestyles.
On a related note, don’t waste a lot of energy on holding grudges, passing judgments, or seeking revenge. Everyone is going through something; cut them some slack. I love this Henry Wadsworth Longfellow quote:
If we could read the secret history of our enemies we should find in each man’s life sorrow and suffering enough to disarm all hostility.”
~Henry Wadsworth Longellow
Besides, all of those negative feelings eat away at your peace of mind…not the other person’s. Buddha wasn’t wrong when he said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.”
Your turn
- What advice would you give the newlyweds?
- If you’re a blogger, do you ever go back and read your old posts? Are they still relevant today?
- What else is on your mind? Anything at all; I just love hearing from you.
Great advise Christie👍
Here’s some from a crusty old guy.
LIVE WITHIN YOUR MEANS! Many young people want to have what their parents have worked a lifetime for. Shiny things and adventures are glorious.. if you can afford them. Debt is a great stressor. I like where you talk about learning a skill. Many household and car repairs are very DYI. There are multiple “YouTube” videos detailing just about everything. ( I write this as my son is replacing the water pump in his truck).
Just my 2 cents😎
Excellent advice, Mark…worth at least 2 cents! 😂 Following that guidance was difficult when I was just starting out in adult life, when I had an entry-level job and two small children to support, but it was well worth it. Living within my means made it possible for me to retire early, virtually debt-free. I understand it is a balance enjoying the present and planning for the uncertain future. Still there is much in life to enjoy that doesn’t come with a big price tag. Good luck to Eric with the water pump!
Hi Christie – loved this advice, and also the “live within your means” advice from Mark in his comment! Living within our means has given us a great outcome for this stage of life – and saved a lot of stress along the way.
My advice would be – don’t expect your partner to be your “everything” – nobody can provide for all your needs, you need to be strong in yourself and have other people in your world – friends, family and acquaintances to round out your life, that then takes the pressure off your spouse to be all things to you.
Oh, I love that advice, Leanne. Ultimately no one is responsible for your happiness or sense of self-worth except you. Having a circle of people that you love and that love you contributes to the richness of life and your own resilience. My experience has been that accepting those facts and incorporating them into your life actually improves the quality of your relationship with a spouse or other partner. Thanks for sharing that piece of wisdom.
What advice would you give the newlyweds? Laugh. Grow. Remember that you’re annoying too.
If you’re a blogger, do you ever go back and read your old posts? Are they still relevant today? I rarely go back and read old blog posts. I think some would be relevant for today, but have yet to ever repost any of them. No reason, just haven’t.
So true, Ally. If we can laugh at our own annoying habits and those of the people in our lives, everyone will be a lot happier. Allowing ourselves to grow and, in the meantime, being less judgmental of where we are today is key to a satisfying life.
Christie, excellent advice from you and from your commentators. Me, I got nothing to add I’m afraid… but agree that I’d have benefitted from these words of wisdom.
I’m glad you found something useful there, Debs.