Or more accurately “How to live with an Introvert Intuitive Feeling Judging (INFJ) Personality.” I recently took a free online personality test (the Humanmetrics Jung Typology Test™), and learned I’m an INFJ. As I was reading the description (which felt eerily accurate), it struck me that I may not always be the easiest person to live with and perhaps some how-to advice was in order.
- I need time by myself to recharge. I like being alone; it doesn’t make me feel sad or lonely. Feel free to leave me home alone on occasion, and don’t take it personal if I want to go somewhere by myself. If I seem withdrawn, or my door is closed, don’t worry I’ll be back soon.
- Please don’t interpret #1 to mean I don’t like people or that I want to be left alone all the time. Not only do I like people, I actually enjoy socializing. I do prefer small groups or having a close friend by my side at a bigger party. I do not like going to large gatherings of unfamiliar people by myself. (And please do not take me to meet your friends or family and then wander off for long periods, leaving me to make small talk.)
- On a related note, I do better if I can plan ahead. Invite me to go out next weekend or let me know you’d like to stop by tomorrow, and there’s a much better chance I’ll go along (and enjoy it), than if you call at the last minute or drop by unexpectedly.
- Typically, with weightier matters, I need to think things through before we talk them out. Please don’t mistake my silence for anger or sadness. If I’m hurt, I will let you know. Of course, we can talk. Just give me a little time to process first.
- That said, I don’t feel the need to share everything. I prefer to have some personal space—physically, emotionally, and mentally. That does not mean I like you any less; that I have anything to hide; or that I don’t want you to share as much as you’d like. It just means I’m more of a private person myself.
I hope that is helpful to those of you with more extroverted personalities that have to live with us introverts.
I’d love to hear what your personality type is according to the Humanmetrics Jung Typology Test™ and whether you find the description accurate.
Do you have any how-to advice for the rest of us?
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Christie is an author and professional communicator who blogs about life transitions, wellness, mindfulness, and anything else that answers the question “So what? Now what?”