Happy Monday! Episode 8
Building resilience with self-confidence
Transcript
Good morning and happy Monday! I hope it’s happy for you. Speaking of which, if you have tried anything new based on something you heard on a Happy Monday video, I would love to know about it, whether it made a difference or not. Please share your experiences in the comments. I’m open to all feedback–the good, the bad, and the ugly. It will help me know if I’m headed in the right direction or if there’s something I can change to be of more help to you.
Looking forward, over the next couple of weeks, I am going to share some exercises with you that are designed to build resilience, a trait that is useful every day of the week, but especially Mondays, when challenges seem to come faster and more intense than other days of the week.
Just so we’re on the same page, when I say resilience, I’m talking about the ability to adapt to challenges and bounce back from disappointments or setbacks.
Some people may believe that resilience is a natural trait that you are either blessed with or you’re not. In fact, research shows that resilience is actually a set of learned behaviors that anyone can develop or strengthen–which is what I am going to help you do.
This is the point where I remind you that I am not a licensed professional of any kind. The exercises I am going to share with you are things that I have discovered through my own life experience or that I found through research and then put to the test. They are all things that have worked for me. I believe they will work for you too.
One common characteristic of resilient people is a confidence in their own ability to figure things out–to overcome challenges and move their lives forward in a positive way.
So how do you develop that kind of self-confidence if you don’t have it already? By examining the evidence. I believe there is ample evidence to support the theory that you have within you the tools necessary to figure anything out and achieve great things.
This week is about gathering and examining the evidence by listing all of the amazing things you have already accomplished in your life and the challenges you have overcome.
Some of these things will be major achievements. Perhaps you’ve earned a degree, run a marathon, or raised teenagers without killing anyone. Maybe you’ve overcome serious injury or illness, climbed your way out of debt, or rebuilt a life after divorce or the loss of a loved one.
Other things may seem small in comparison, but they were challenging for you. Maybe you tried something new and risked looking foolish, or spoke up when your opinion wasn’t the popular one, or asked for help when you hate admitting you can’t do everything all by yourself.
You get the idea. Nothing is too small for the list, as long as it was challenging for you and you did it anyway.
Once you have your list compiled, take some time to admire your accomplishments and pat yourself on the back. You are a super star.
After you’ve celebrated sufficiently–and only after that–take it a step further. Ask yourself what attributes, skills, and talents helped you to be successful at each of these efforts. Write them down, and you will have a list of the very attributes, skills, and talents that you have at your disposal to overcome the next challenge or reach the next big goal.
These two lists together are your evidence that you have everything it takes to figure it out and move forward in a positive direction.
I hope you will have some fun with this exercise and go about it with a spirit of celebration, pride, and respect for your many accomplishments.
If you enjoyed this video, please like and share it. Then come back next Monday for another resilience-building exercise. In the meantime, have a great day, enjoy your week, and I’ll see you next Monday!
Hi Christie,
I love the concept of resilience. It’s not given enough attention, in my opinion, but is so crititcal for us to adapt to the challenges of living. When I was teaching we spent a lot of time talking about how to build resilience in students. How to bounce back from disappointments and turn failures into learning experiences without our selves taking a “ding.”
A list of your successes and the attributes that helped you succeed gives you a “tool box” to recognize that you have what it takes to face difficulty and come through on the other side.
That’s great that you spent time teaching children resilience, Nancy. I wish more teachers and schools would do that. Of course, as parents and grandparents, we should take responsibility for that as well. No one gets through this life unscathed. We all need resilience.
Great episode Christie, We will feature it on the next Blogger’s Pit Stop 🙂 Our readers will love it.
Kathleen
Thank you Kathleen! It’s always a pleasure participating in the Blogger’s Pit Stop and an honor to be featured.
Excited to see what you have in store for us as we talk about resilience. I think I am pretty resilient and able to find a way around situations or solutions to problems but they are not always the wisest ways to handle things. Like bourbon. Just kidding, but sometimes I wind up making a worse mess by applying a temporary fix to a problem.
You asked if we have taken anything away from or employed any of your advice/suggestions. YES! May I say that I think of you every night that I can’t sleep. Last night, for example…I tossed and turned for over an hour from 3:00-4:00 am. Thinking, worrying, trying to get comfortable, calculating how much time I had to sleep before morning if I could fall asleep in the next five minutes. And then I began your breathing exercise. And next thing I knew, the alarm was buzzing at 5:45 am. Gracias!!
Thank you so much for your kind words, Leslie. Your specific example of how something I said helped you, made my day. We’ve only been friends for a short time, but I definitely consider you to be a resilient person and someone I can turn to for support, which helps me to be more resilient. Thank you! Thank you!