Mission accomplished: Mom’s final wish granted
Evidently, the third time really is the charm. After two failed attempts (thanks to COVID), we finally fulfilled Mom’s request to scatter her ashes in Fairbanks, Alaska…to return her to her beloved after 63 years apart.
I hope to have a novel inspired by her amazing life to share with you in the near future, but in the meantime, the short story is this. At 19 years old, my mother fell madly in love with an adventurous young man and moved to Fairbanks to marry and build a homestead with him. They endured extreme poverty and survived the winter in a small trailer with no indoor plumbing or electricity. Then just as summer was approaching and her husband had started a promising new job…and with a baby on the way…she witnessed the murder of her husband. Heartbroken and alone, she returned home to Utah to be near the love and support of her family. She lived a rich, full life…one that never led back to Alaska…however, a piece of her heart forever remained in Fairbanks. Now her earthly body resides there too.
The best-laid plans
The trip to fulfill her final wishes was not exactly as I anticipated. Few things in life are. As I mentioned, we rescheduled twice, due to COVID travel restrictions. When we finally arrived, 2-½ years after Mom’s passing, the weather was less than ideal for outdoor activities, cold and rainy day after day. I got a large blister on my foot on Day 3 of a 10-day trip that was meant to include a lot of walking. (The resulting shoe choices made for some interesting fashion statements.) And, to top it off, a couple of members of our group brought home COVID, despite our best efforts to avoid it. (Luckily, no one got severely ill.)
I had to remind myself on several occasions to release what I thought should be in order to embrace what was. This was afterall a mission of love and not necessarily meant to be all sunshine and butterflies.
On the bright side
Alaska is beautiful. Who could go there and not fall in love?
And we did manage to have some fun and see some interesting sights.
The truth of the matter
Most important, we spent time honoring our Mother’s life, visiting the areas in which she had lived and loved, and fulfilling her final request.
I miss her now more than ever. I think there was a part of me that was resisting letting go of the last physical piece of her, and that may have been more responsible for my melancholy and anxiety than the weather or my physical discomfort.
Still, I know Mom’s spirit…her essence…wasn’t really in that box of ashes. I feel her presence in my DNA, in the love with which she raised me, and the many things she taught me. Oh, and we couldn’t resist bringing a small portion of the physical back with us. I don’t think Mom will mind.
Your turn
- Will you share a fond memory with us about a loved one who has passed?
- What was your biggest travel disappointment, and how did you handle it?
- What else is on your mind? Anything at all; I just love to hear from you.
What a beautiful tribute to your Mother.
Alaska is truly stunning. Thanks to your reminder, it is now on my Bucket List to return!
Thank you, Donna. Alaska really is such a beautiful state.
Thank you for sharing! I love seeing these pictures. I’m sorry to hear there were some travel hiccups, but I’m glad it was a meaningful and successful trip as far as what you set out to do. So grateful to have had such a loving grandma!
❤️
She really was something, wasn’t she? I’m happy we could fulfill her final request. If you ever get the chance to go to Alaska, you should definitely take it. Love you, Liz!
Love you right back! ❤️
Christie, thank you for sharing this touching story of your quest to return your mother to such a beautiful place. It obviously meant a lot to her. Can’t wait to read some of the stories you will write about your mom.
As far as your default style choice – I have no problem wearing flip-flops with a jacket!
Thanks, Suzanne. The funny thing is I threw the flip-flops in my bag at the last minute thinking I might want them to wear around the hotel. They turned out to be lifesavers!
I think we all would be happier if we can release what we think should be in order to embrace what is. Despite the several setbacks, it sounds like you had an enjoyable and meaningful trip. Alaska is gorgeous and it’s easy to see how your mother fell in love with its raw – and challenging – beauty. I’m looking forward to reading more of your story!
That’s so true, Janis. Much of our suffering is self-imposed worrying about the “shoulda, woulda, couldas.” The trip really was lovely just as it was. I believe it appropriately honored Mom. I hope the story I am writing will do her justice.
Oh Christie – what a story and what an interesting end to a life well lived. You’ve just created more memories to add into the ones you had – and I love how you turned the narrative around to looking for the true meaning of the experience – rather than the picture-perfect ideal you’d created in the 2.5 year wait. Your mum will be smiling I’m sure – and closure is another step in the healing process isn’t it? xx
Thank you, Leanne. We made memories for sure, and our mother would definitely be pleased. I can rest easy, knowing we’ve fulfilled our promise to her.
Oh my, that was a beautiful story about your Mom and her life. I am so glad you eventually got to do what you and the family had hoped for. Life just doesn’t do that linear thing much at all does it. Ouchies to you and your foot.
I admit I miss my mother now some 15 years since her death because I had no really communications with her that felt close….and “I” was the issue here. Something about growing and learning more about human compassion as I change I guess.
Love that you all did bring a “bit” of your mother’s remains home with you too.
Take care, these are challenging times emotionally as we age.
Denyse.
Thank you, Denyse. You are so right…life doesn’t do the linear thing much at all. You’d think after 60 years, I would have figured that out! I am learning, though. I’m sorry that you did not have close communications with your mother before she died. We do the best we can with the skills we have at any given point in our lives. As you said, the secret is to keep growing and learning. I hope all is going well with your current life changes. Take care of yourself!
I’m thinking your Mom really enjoyed that trip to Alaska with you. Yes, Covid ruined our big travel plans for 2020 when we were about to embark on a year of EUrevoir visits seeing every country in the bloc before our right to freedom of movement ended. I guess some things were never meant to be, unless we resurrect our plans under a new name and are rigid about counting the days we stay away.
Oh Caree, that must have been a big disappointment at the time, knowing you couldn’t just postpone it for later. I hope you do resurrect your trip under a new name…or plan something even more fabulous! Stupid COVID.
I am so grateful that we were finally able to take mama’s ashes to Alaska. It was beautiful! I miss her as well. I actually didn’t mind the cool, rainy weather. It was a nice change from the extreme heat we’ve had this summer. I love you! ?
Me too, sister. I agree about the break from the heat. And we did not get rained on at the cemetery, so that was thoughtful of Mother Nature.
One of the reasons I’m not doing travel at the moment is the combination of it never “living up to expectations” and dealing with the challenges that always comes with travel. I understand the “release what I think it should be in order to embrace what is” concept but that is sometimes so hard to do. It’s lovely to hear however that you were able to execute this wish of your mom’s. That will bring such peace and happiness to your heart when you think back on it.
That makes sense, Pat. We have been lucky enough (or kept our expectations reasonable enough) that we have enjoyed several trips…one to Mazatlan since COVID. I have a feeling the emotions wrapped up in the mission of this particular trip played a role in my reaction…and we did have some unforeseen complications.