Rewind: I’m okay, you’re okay; aren’t we?
I’m on vacation this week, taking a break even from blogging, but I didn’t want to let a Tuesday go by without posting, so I decided to share an oldie, but goodie (at least I hope you think so).
Last week, I was sitting on a beautiful beach, enjoying the rugged black lava rocks and the mighty ocean waves, when my travel companion decided to get in the water. Before pulling her coverup over her head, she said, “I’m sorry for what you’re about to see. I’m still a good person.” Then we laughed about how we’d long ago given up on having the perfect bikini body. She jumped in the ocean, and I laid back in the sun.
But it got me thinking. How did we start to attach moral goodness to being thin–or talented or wealthy or any of the many random things we consider good? It’s true, the thin person might have worked hard to get her body into peak physical shape, or she may have been blessed with a high metabolism and a fine bone structure. The singer you admire probably invested countless hours honing his craft–which is commendable–but the voice, well, he was born with that through no effort of his own, right? And the couple with the fancy car and enviable mansion, perhaps they earned their fortune from scratch, or they may have inherited it from Daddy.
Let’s assume the wealthy person got there through superior intelligence, an admirable quality no question. But if a person is born with more smarts than someone else, does that make her a better person?
Don’t get me wrong; I want to be thin, talented, smart, and wealthy as much as the next person, and I don’t fault anyone else for wanting the same. I just try to remember that none of these things makes me good, and the lack of them does not make me bad.
Making the most of the hands we have been dealt; that’s something to be proud of.
Absolutely an oldie but goodie. I think to myself all the time, ‘what doesn’t kill me makes me stronger’! Sad but true. I have made some poor decisions in my life, half-way knowing that they were bad decisions even as I jumped right in. But rather than giving up or continuing my life on that same track, I have been able to transition away from those errors in judgement and move on.
Thank you for sharing this. Love the ‘lemons’ graphic.
I think that’s what life is all about, Leslie, going forward from where we are in this moment. If we can learn and grow without wasting a lot of energy on “shoulda, woulda, coulda.” I hope you are having a lovely day.
Such a good reminder! I must admit I cut everybody else way more slack than I cut myself! I say all the right things out loud, but still have to coach the silent thoughts while I’m waiting to hop in the shower!
Hi Agnes and welcome. Why is it so much harder to be kind to ourselves than others? Keep going with the positive self-talk.
It’s so easy to see other people, what they have or how they look, and see what is lacking in ourselves. Your post puts it all back into perspective. Love and accept yourself where you are, right now. There is no one else in this world quite like you!
So true Candi. Well said. ?
I’ve got a lemon to deal with at the moment – clearly I should be looking into Tequila!!
Hello Chris and welcome. Take care of those lemons! ?
Loved reading this today Christie, I needed to be reminded that we’re all different and unique. Thanks #mlstl
Thank you Deb. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
I remember the quote about it not being the cards we’re dealt but how we play the hand Christie and that’s so true – it doesn’t stop me wishing for a great singing voice, an awesome body, a million dollars, or whatever else though. Still, I’m also very grateful for the blessings I have and for every minute I get to enjoy this life I’ve been given.
PS I sent you an email – if you didn’t get it can you let me know (leanne.lecras@gmail.com) and thanks for linking up with us at #MLSTL and I’ve shared this on my SM xx
So true Leanne. If we could just enjoy everyone’s unique characteristics without attaching “goodness” to them. I’ll check my email now!
A good reminder. I think that people act in a certain way to hide their true selves for others. You mentioned something about smarts and it is amazing how people think they are superior if they are smart. I often use think of the quote by Neil deGrasse Tyson-“Half of being smart is recognizing what you don’t know.” Nobody knows everything. I will admit that I am about smart of as a bag of rocks in certain areas. People find that it is a sign of weakness, when it means that something can become a learning opportunity for me. Only people who are honest with themselves and in touch with themselves are comfortable with their weaknesses. #MLSTL
Well said Patrick. I love learning new things and have figured out that “I don’t know; teach me” is a good thing.
Hi Christie! I hope you are enjoying your break and thank you for taking the time to link up at #MLSTL. We put so much pressure on ourselves don’t we and waste so much time on regret or wishing we were different. Loved the thoughts in your post Christie and I needed to read this today. Thank you xx
Yes, Sue. If only we can train ourselves (and remember) to look at what we have as gifts, nourish them and enjoy them, but not attach “goodness” to them, and thus not attach bad feelings to those characteristics or talents we haven’t been gifted. I hope you are having a lovely day!
I’m generally so hard on myself and more tolerant of other people in so many instances, but that’s not to say I’m without judgement either. We do need to accept ourselves first and love ourselves for what we are.
I agree Jo. Ultimately, I work to accept myself for who I am today while continually learning and growing to be the best I can be. It’s a tricky balance at times.
It is so amazing that we attach so much importance to things that most of the time we have no control of. My first husband once said to me that he couldn’t understand why I couldn’t control my weight when I put so much importance on how I looked like my having extra poundage showed a weakness in me. God gave all of us gifts and it would be boring if we all had the same ones.
Yes, exactly Victoria. If everyone looked the same and had the same talents, they wouldn’t be special at all, would they? If only we could accept everyone as uniquely wonderful (ourselves included). I’m working on that.
Enjoy your break, Christie. Very well-deserved…and very thoughtful post!
Thanks Donna!
I’m a big fan or reminding myself that we might be different but we are all equal in some measure i.e. we all have positive attributes. And yes life serves up challenges but as you say pass the tequila and salt. Now there’s an idea! Sharing in my FB group 🙂
Thanks Jan. Cheers!