Farewell sweet mother
Joan Esther Rodgers Nokes
September 22, 1938 – December 26, 2019
Joan Esther Rodgers Nokes—beloved mother, grandmother, sister, and friend—spent her final days on this earth surrounded by her loved ones before peacefully slipping away in the early morning hours following Christmas.
Joan’s mortal body may be laid to rest, but her legacy lives on.
Mom taught us to dream big and at the same time appreciate our current blessings. She would religiously mail in every sweepstakes entry and daydream aloud about the fantastic things she would do if she won, but she didn’t wait for that golden ticket to enjoy life. No one savored life’s little pleasures more than Mom: things like decorative nicknacks and hand towels, fancy drinking glasses, good books, colorful clothes and jewelry, and tasty food. Mom loved shopping of any kind—even grocery shopping—and if you’ve ever eaten with her, you are familiar with the happy dance inspired by that first delicious bite.
Mom taught us to never give up and that you can be strengthened by challenges without being hardened. No one was more tenacious than Mom. As a young woman, she survived a winter in 1950s Fairbanks, Alaska—in a travel trailer with no indoor plumbing or electricity. She witnessed the murder of her beloved husband while pregnant with their first child and later endured the sudden, unexpected death of her youngest son. You might expect a person who has been through all that to become cold and bitter or weak and frightened, but not Mom. She remained courageous, hopeful, gentle, and warm.
But heaven help you if you mistook her gentle nature for weakness. There was no talking her out of something she was heart-set on doing or talking her into something she was dead-set against.
Perhaps most important, Mom taught us to love deeply and unconditionally. She accepted people from all walks of life and belief systems. She loved everyone as they were and opened her heart and her home to all. She loved each of her children and grandchildren through their unique trials and tribulations without judgment. Her love was so intense and personal that each of us thought we were her favorite. We’re still debating her actual favorite to this day!
Of course, Joan understood that love multiplies when it is given away, so she spread her love outside of the family to her friends, her neighbors, her church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints), the children with special needs whom she served in her career, and animals of all kinds (especially her cat, Ginger).
Joan’s love and life lessons remain to sustain her children, Connie Nokes, Christie (Larry) Hawkes, Cindy (Mark) Moore, Blaine (Allison) Haskell, and Heidi (Jimmie) Noon; her sister, Sheri Kurumada; her niece and nephew; her 18 grandchildren; her 20 great grandchildren; and many other family members and friends too numerous to list.
Joan is having a joyful reunion with her husband, Seth Conrad Nokes; her son, Bryan Haskell; and her parents, Blaine and Cindy Rodgers.
The family would like to thank Dawn and Sariah of First Choice Hospice and the kind staff at Avalon West for their loving care.
A memorial service will be held January 2, at 10:00 a.m. at Valley View Funeral Home, 4335 W 4100 S, West Valley City, Utah.
Your turn
- If you knew Joan, I’d love to hear one of your memories of her.
- What’s one lesson you are grateful your parents taught you?
My sincere condolences to you and your family Christie.
Thank you Suzanne.
All condolences to you and all who knew and loved her. May her dear soul Rest In Peace-
Thank you Susan.
I remember moms Sunday phone calls, just to recap the week. I remember mom saying “let’s plan to get together so I can have something to look forward to.” (Mark says I got that from her.) I remember her not wanting to share dessert, we had to have our own. She liked to hold hands and gave the best hugs. I’m sure going to miss her, but I’m so grateful she was ours on this earth.❤️
I loved reading about your memories, Cindy. Thanks for sharing them here. I too am grateful beyond words that we had her for our mother and that we loved deeply enough to feel this loss. I am also grateful to Mom for having a big family and keeping us close. Now it’s on us to keep that legacy going. I love you!
So sorry, Christie. It sounds like she lived her life well and passed an incredible legacy on to her children and grandchildren. May your family find comfort in your warm memories of your dear mother.
Thank you Janis. She really was a remarkable woman.
Sending you loving thoughts in the loss of your mother. What a beautiful tribute you wrote, honoring her life and her love.
Thank you Trisha.
I’m so so sorry to hear this news Christie. My condolences to you and your family. This is a beautiful tribute you have written to your mother
Thank you Jennifer.
So sorry Christie, you’re in my thoughts and prayers. It sounds like she was a great mom!!
Thank you Dee. She really was a remarkable woman and a wonderful mother. I know how lucky I am to have been her daughter.
When our Mom’s 83-year-old Grandfather-in-law needed a place to live, none of his children were willing to open their doors to him, so Mom did. Grandpa Haskell lived with us for about a year. I was 16 at the time and he started dating a woman he later married. Often we came home from dates at the same time and would talk late into the night. He felt comfortable and welcome with us. She made sure he felt at home. One day she received a letter in the mail from some of his kids which accused her of letting him live with us because she was “after his money and their rightful inheritance.” Mom was incensed. How dare they accuse her of such a thing when all she was doing was caring for him. About a month later these same relatives came into town and visited Great-Grandpa at our house. Mom invited them to dinner. It was a Sunday and we were all sitting around the table when Mom stood and said she had something to share. She opened up the letter and read it out loud. Then she turned to Great-Grandpa and said something like, “I want you to know, I have no interest in your money. You are here because we love you and want you to feel at home, and that is all that matters.” A stunned silence filled the room, and then she sat down and asked for someone to pass the potatoes. I was so incredibly proud of our Mom that day. She was never a gossip, and she didn’t like conflict, but when she needed to stand up for what was right, she did. PS: He married again shortly afterward and there went his kids’ inheritance, which did make Mom smile. Probably she was just happy he’d found love.
Somehow I had forgotten this story Connie. Thanks for reminding me. I loved Grandpa Haskell’s stories of living in an age before motor cars through the landing of a man on the moon. I also loved that he bought ice cream for us regularly! I didn’t realize as a child the responsibility that Mom took on inviting him to live with us.
I didn’t realize it either. Been smiling about her all morning. I’m sure I’ll be crying again soon, but she was a wonder, our mama.
I love you Connie. I’m so glad our family has had this time together. I will miss seeing you nearly every day.
Dear Christie,
I’m so behind on my blogging/reading and just now read of your mom’s passing. Your tribute to her was touching and through it I got a real sense of who she was. Unfailing optimism and kindness are wonderful traits and it sounds as though you and your family were gifted with those from her.
This has been a rough stretch for you. Be well, and may her memory be a blessing.
Thank you Nancy. I am touched by your kind words and appreciate your caring.
Christie,
I also am just catching up – so sorry for your loss. Your mother sounds like a wonderful woman and an example of strength and compassion. Thank you and your siblings for sharing their memories.
Thank you Janet. She was pretty special, and we are lucky to have had her for a role model.
Christie, I’m so sorry to read of your mother’s passing. How wonderful that she was surrounded by family! Your tribute to her shows what a wonderful woman and mother she was. My mother passed away the day after Mother’s Day this past year, and she is on my heart and mind every day. I liked your response to one of the comments: “…we loved deeply enough to feel this loss.” God bless you and your family as you go through the days feeling this loss.
Thank you Gale, and my warmest wishes for you and your family as well. I know the first Christmas without your mother must have been difficult. We will keep them in our hearts, as you said, and their influence shapes our lives still.
My sweet friend, how are you? I guess the memorial service is behind you but I bet it was so well done and so uplifting that it will remain with you forever. Can’t remember when you leave for Mazatlan, or perhaps you have had to put the trip on hold for a bit, but hoping you can catch your breath, enjoy some down time over the next few weeks. Having read a little about your mother, I now know where you get your loving, warm heart. May this new year only get easier and gentler for you and yours.
Thank you for your kind words, Leslie. The memorial service was everything I could have hoped for. This July we will take her ashes to Fairbanks, Alaska to be with her much-loved deceased husband, who is buried there. I’m hoping she is already having a joyful reunion with him and my little brother. We did postpone our Mazatlan trip and will probably go in February. I am looking forward to the downtime and the healing that always comes with time in nature. Here’s to a gentler 2020 for both of our families!
Thanks so much for sending me your blog addy. I have added it to my blog roll. So sorry to hear of the passing of your Mom….
Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting!!
Hugs,
Deb
Welcome Deb! I always love making a new connection. I’m sure we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other! Thank you also for the condolences.
Oh my gosh, Christie. I am very sorry to read about the passing of your Mother. I have just reentered the blogosphere and I am catching up on my reading. I have difficulty reading your post through my blurry eyes. I did not have the opportunity to meet her, yet I feel I meet her through you. You embody all the good values she has passed on to you.
As I read further, I cannot imagine the hardships and grief she endured. And, yet to see the good in life. I know she was proud of you, Christie and she still is.
Thank you for sharing such a touching, personal story. Hugs to you and your family. xx Erica
Thank you Erica. My mother truly was an extraordinary woman, and I feel blessed to have been her daughter and to have the opportunity to share her with you. XO
Also, welcome back. I have missed you, Erica.