The high cost of impatience
When I was a child, my mother told me patience was a virtue, so I grew up understanding that patience was something that I should aspire to. What I didn’t fully understand until recently was the high cost of impatience.
Missing out on this moment in time
Merriam-Webster defines impatience as the state of being restless or short of temper especially under irritation, delay, or opposition.
I prefer this simple definition from a Simple Habit meditation:
Impatience is trying to live in a moment that is not this one.
When you are impatient, you are trying to jump ahead to the future, which means you are not living fully in this moment. You are missing out on a point in time that you can never get back.
That should be reason enough to strive for patience if you’re on a mindfulness journey, as I am. But just in case we need more motivation, there are other significant costs of impatience.
Lost opportunities
Have you ever started a weight loss or exercise program, only to give up within a couple of weeks–or days–because you didn’t see a difference right away? Have you ever tried to master a new skill or start a new hobby and tossed it aside when it was more difficult than you expected? Achieving anything worthwhile takes patience.
“Trust the process. Your time is coming. Just do the work and the results will handle themselves.”
Tony Gaskins
Wasted money
Have you ever paid for express delivery because you wanted something right now rather than five days from now? Or worse, have you paid way too much in interest in order to finance a purchase that could have waited while you saved the money? Have you chosen instant gratification over comfort in retirement by spending money you could have invested? I’m not saying you shouldn’t enjoy life now, but a little patience can go a long way in helping you spread the joy throughout your lifetime.
Investing should be more like watching paint dry or watching grass grow. If you want excitement, take $800 and go to Las Vegas.
Paul Samuelson
Damaged relationships
Have you ever lost patience and spoken harshly to someone you care about, hurting their feelings and possibly damaging the relationship? Have you ever given up on the possibility of a new relationship, because relationships are hard work or written someone off based on a first impression? Think of all connections you are missing out on. You can read the real-life experiences of several people who became best friends with someone they originally did not care for in the comments to this post.
If we could look into each other’s hearts and understand the unique challenges each of us faces, I think we would treat each other much more gently, with more love, patience, tolerance, and care.
Marvin J. Ashton
Let’s get real
Last evening, after I’d written this oh-so-enlightened post, I was driving in a part of town where the traffic gets terribly congested. I was not particularly patient. I even thought to myself, “Hell yeah, I’m trying to live in a moment that’s not this one. I’m okay with missing this moment in time.” Try as I might, I could not find the zen.
So I am definitely a work in progress. Patience may be a virtue, but it’s not easy. Maybe that’s part of what makes it so virtuous. Achieving anything worthwhile requires patience; I’ll try to be patient with myself as I learn patience.
Your turn
- If you’re feeling brave, tell us something impatience has cost you.
- On the other hand, what has patience won you?
- What’s on your mind today? Share anything at all. I just love hearing from you.
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The beginning of my life was not easy and remained the same for many years. I waited and waited and waited on everything! Now that I’m in my late 50s I no longer want to wait on anything. I cannot be patient and I do want instant gratification. I order from online shops that deliver in 2 days, it’s a must for me! We do have savings in a nest egg and I’m in no hurry to cash it in as we are financially ok, thank the Lord! I have tried to be patient on some things but I fail in my attempt.
There is something to be said for knowing what you want and going after it. I would never want to confuse patience with inaction. When it comes to online shopping, bless organizations like Zappos and Amazon that offer express shipping at no charge!
Well, it’s not just fast 2 day shipping that I like, it’s everything. I’m too old to have to wait on anything after waiting on everything for so many years. I’m impatient and don’t like waiting.
If it motivates you to push for what you want, then it’s probably a good thing. Of course, there are times you have to wait, in traffic, restaurants, etc. Maybe that’s where patience can be beneficial.
Hi Christie
It’s interesting you posted this because I recently listened to a podcast on this very subject. We are so impatient we don’t live in the here and now. That’s totally me and I am very impatient. So August 1 I began meditating and trying to slow down. It’s too soon to tell if this will help, but I am really enjoying my 3-4 minute sessions. Thanks for this reminder
Perfect timing then, Theresa. We’re on the same wavelength. Namu amida butsu.
Good post! We’re all works in progess on this one. I do tend to notice and admire it in others tho…(It’s quite infectious) #MLSTL
Thanks Lydia. When I’m waiting for something fun…like vacation…I try to savor and enjoy the anticipation. When I’m waiting in line or traffic, I try to enjoy the scenery or the music or whatever may be pleasant about that moment. Sometimes it works better than others.
Patients has never been one of my virtues either. I want what I want and I want it now. But while my husband was on his journey I was very patient. I never wanted to miss one second of anything with him. Illness can sometimes make you slow down and live in the moment.
Yes, Victoria, illness or other trauma definitely changes our outlook on things. I’m glad that you were able to slow down and be present for those final days together. Hugs!
I love your insights Christie. I must say since I retired, I am far more patient and happier in many ways. I’m also becoming more tolerant but as with everything and as you say, we are all works in progress. Your quotes really fitted well too! Sharing for #mlstl
I’m glad you enjoyed it, Deb. I believe I am getting more patient and happier as I mature. Part of it is probably mellowing in general, but also I have been making a conscious effort. I am patiently awaiting retirement. 🙂
I think I’m a pretty patient person, but there are a few things that drive me nuts (traffic being one). I also think that, although patience may be a virtue, some things are too important to be patient about (confronting climate change and passing reasonable gun control measures are just two critical challenges that come to mind). You included some great quotes – I love the one about investing.
So true, Janis. We definitely don’t want to confuse patience with inaction when it comes to important issues. Thanks for making that important point.
I’m reminding myself of this every day atm Christie. I still don’t really know what I want for the next few years and I keep reminding myself that time will take care of that and to slow down and enjoy every moment of this retired life. If I was to find a job or hobby that used up some of my week, I’d miss having all this freedom and flexibility – so I need to enjoy the “in between” time and let the future take care of itself. Patience is indeed a virtue xx
Thanks for linking up with us at MLSTL and I’ve shared on my SM 🙂
Your experience in life right now is a perfect example of living in the moment and having patience that the future will be exactly as it is supposed to be. It sounds to me like you’re doing the restorative work that you need to do. Thank you for sharing your journey with us, Leanne.
It’s a fine line isn’t it. We definitely all need to have things to look forward to but that doesn’t mean shifting our entire attention to that future point. No doubt as you say patience is a virtue and if we allow the universe to deliver in its own good time things reallly do work out for the best.
Sharing this
Thanks Jan. It is a fine line. I think the key, at least for me, is to do the work and then have the patience to let the universe do what it will with that work, and try our best to enjoy the process–or at least let ourselves fully experience it.
Hi Christie, it seems like when I set a goal I want it done NOW. Patience does not come naturally to me. Not so much when it comes to things…I live pretty simply. But when I decide that I’m going to do something, learn a skill, accomplish a goal, I can get too tied up in the process and “try to live in a moment that is not this one”. That hit me right between the eyes. Thank you for helping me see that.
That quote really hit me too, Candi. I was doing a guided meditation, and when I heard those words, it struck a chord for sure and inspired this post. Good luck in your mindfulness journey. Have a lovely day.
I read this post earlier and now again looking at comments (as I re-visit via #MLSTL)… they really expanded my thinking here . I’m usually patient with people and events, but I also find that I keep putting things off…. patiently waiting for… something. So I want to continue to live in the present, be mindful and not impatient for the next moment… and I also want to stop waiting, which could be seen as starting to be a bit impatient with myself.
I was surprised by the number of comments regarding not being too patient, in terms of sitting back and waiting. Perhaps the key is to prod yourself into action and then be patient on the results. And, of course, there are many things we can’t control which require our patience, if we are to maintain peace of mind.
Hi Christie I am so guilty of being impatient for things to ‘feel right’ in my life and yes this year more than ever I seem to be darting all over the place to find answers. I really need to heed your advice and follow the quote “Trust the process. Your time is coming. Just do the work and the results will handle themselves.” Thank you for sharing at #MLSTL and reminding us all to just be for a while. xx
I liked that quote too, Sue. Our actions are ultimately the only thing we control. We have to trust that the results will come. They may not be exactly what we anticipated, but sometimes what the Universe brings us is more perfect than what we had in mind. And, of course, it’s the journey that is most important. That’s where the magic happens, and that’s where life happens. Wishing you a magical journey! Thanks again for hosting #MLSTL.
THank you for this very thought-provoking and inspiring post, Christie.
I love the definition of impatience from Simple Habits. I hadn’t thought of impatience that way before — but it is so true.
Neither had I, Donna, but it really hit home for me.
Great post! I really liked the part about driving in traffic and not seeing the zen in that particular moment. It’s always good to see that no matter how much progress we make, we find that we’re still human. And acknowledging our humanness and less than perfection is a valued trait that not everyone learns. Kudos to you!
Loved your post! Sharing for MLSTL
Thank you Trisha. Sometimes it feels like I’m being a hypocrite when I preach one thing and don’t live it 100 percent, but it’s more important to be real and acknowledge our struggles. As you said, we all learn together. Thank you for the encouraging words. Have a lovely day!
I would have pegged you for an extremely patient person. You just have a calming aura – at least across the Internet! I am very patient with children and terribly impatient with inanimate objects…especially vacuums, shower curtains and blinds when I am trying to hang them, oh, and weed eaters. The devil’s invention. My daughters, bless them, have witnessed me throwing an absolute fit – more than once – trying to use a weed eater.
But I never thought of my impatience as wishing away the present and longing for some point in the future. Lately, I have been praying for patience, to guard my tongue, to not let little things like weed eaters get me so wrapped around the hub. I, too, am a work in progress.
First of all, Leslie, thank you for the kind words and the visual of you with the uncooperative weed eater. My husband does the yard work, but I’ve witnessed him tangling with the wicked weed eater and am also convinced it is the devil’s invention. I believe I am a patient person in most areas, but I am not a good waiter. (As in waiting for something to happen; though I’d probably be a lousy restaurant waiter too.) I go a little crazy if someone is more than a couple of minutes late, or even if I am ready early and don’t have immediate plans to fill the time. Once I make up my mind I want to do (or have) something, I just want it right then. I am definitely getting better, but am not quite there yet. So I’m trying to be patient with the process of gaining patience. 🙂
Christie, we all need a reminder about patience. Inpatients can make us not very nice to be around. We will feature your post to show it off and maybe help some more readers.
Blogger’s Pit Stop
Kathleen
Thank you Kathleen! It’s always an honor to be featured on Blogger’s Pit Stop.
Visiting again to say thanks so much for linking up and co-hosting at the #BloggingGrandmothersLinkParty 41.
Thanks for the opportunity, Dee.
You’re most welcome Christie, couldn’t do it without you ♥
Hi Christie, I am so guilty of being impatient. I had to wait for a lot of things when I was younger. Its so easy now to be impatient because life is easier and we can actually afford to be impatient. My impatience is something I really try to work on, Thanks for linking up and co-hosting the #BloggingGrandmothersLinkParty 41
I can relate Sylvia. Patience, like so many other things in this life, is an ongoing practice, not something most of us master completely.