We are more alike than different

People from various ethnic backgrounds.

I’m a people watcher. Always have been. One of my earliest memories is going into town with my grandma to pick up Grandpa from work. While we waited for him to emerge, we’d watch the people. There were office workers in business attire striding purposefully to their destinations. There were shoppers, weighted down with their purchases. There were children laughing, crying, or draped over a parent’s shoulder sleeping. And there were “beggars” (as Grandma described them) in dirty, tattered clothing asking for spare change. I found them all fascinating. I hadn’t yet learned to pass judgment.

Do you see similarities or differences?

When you meet (or just see) someone for the first time, do you first notice the similarities or the differences? Is your initial instinct “them” or “us?” Possibly the circumstances or environment surrounding the encounter change your response.

We live in a time where we quickly put people in boxes. Some are immediate: gender, age, race, build. Others quickly follow: political affiliation, socioeconomic status, religion, sexual orientation. Too often we may come to the conclusion that we have nothing in common. But what if we dug a little deeper, expanded the box, or reconstructed it altogether?

All that we share

I recently came across this video that deeply touched me. I hope you will take three minutes to watch it and let me know what you think.

We are all human with the same basic emotions and desires–all struggling to find happiness and minimize suffering. We are better when we come together than when we separate ourselves and put up unnecessary, often arbitrary, boundaries.

Each of us has lived through some devastation, some loneliness, some weather superstorm or spiritual superstorm. When we look at each other we must say, I understand. I understand how you feel because I have been there myself. We must support each other because each of us is more alike than we are unalike.”

~Maya Angelou

Your turn

  1. What is one thing you believe you and I may have in common?
  2. What is your earliest memory?
  3. What’s on your mind today? Anything at all.

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Shared on Bloggers Pit Stop.

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38 Comments

  1. Hi Christie:
    Wow, that brought tears to my eyes. Thanks for discovering it.
    Love,
    Aunt Sheri

  2. I saw this on FB and ignored it, like I do a lot of things on FB. I’m so glad you included this video in your blog so I would watch it. So very good and so true. Thank you.

    One thing we have in common is DNA, but more importantly the love and laughter we share.

    One of my first memories is playing on Grandmas back porch, pretending it was a ship and everything around it was water. Funny that we both have some of our earliest memories with grandma.

  3. I’ve seen the video before and it makes a good point. I have two very dear friends that upon first meeting them I “thought” I didn’t like them, they felt the same about me. As time passed and we had to be together 5 days a week (one in nursing school and at our job after graduation, another at a new job in a different state, both at different times in my life) we realized we really did like each other. Our first impressions of each other were not accurate at all. I met those two women many, many years ago and we remain the best of friends today! There is nothing we wouldn’t do for each other but in the very beginning, no one could have told us such friendships were possible and would grow and get stronger thru the years.

    1. Thank you for sharing your story, Dee. It makes a great point. First impressions are not always accurate, and if we keep an open mind, don’t have to be permanent. If you had stuck to your first thoughts, you would be missing out on two wonderful friendships. Have a wonderful week, Dee!

  4. A great video so I glad you posted it and I watched it. For whatever reason it made me think of a friend who lost her husband a year before I lost mine and how judgmental I was of how she reacted. I know now she was just doing the best she could do with what had happened. That is how we all are just trying to live and be happy.

  5. Just beautiful Christie and the video was so touching. I hope that I can teach my grandchildren to be accepting in this world where judgement and exclusiveness are becoming more evident. I’ll be sharing on SM and thank you for taking the time to write this reminder to us all. You are so valued at #MLST and have a beautiful week. xx

    1. I also hope to set a good example of love and acceptance to my grandchildren, Sue. I see my daughters living that way, which gives me great joy and hope for the future. Thank you for hosting #MLSTL and for your kind words about my participation. May your week be beautiful as well!

  6. Weirdly my comment came out with just my name so I’ll try again lol. What I’d said was that this reminded me of a judgement I made a few weeks ago about a character trait in a colleague that I didn’t like. Given that I’m usually so non judgemental this really shocked me. It was only when I stepped back and looked at what it was that I didn’t like about this person and realised that the particular behaviour that had annoyed me reminded me of myself – and part of my shadow. Same same but absolutely not different. #MLSTL

    1. That happened last week too (just your name appearing), Joanne. That is weird. Thank you for your persistence in trying again, and thank you for your honesty and vulnerability in your comment. I believe what you experienced is often the case–the things that we find troublesome in others bother us because we see that trait in ourselves or it stirs up a fear of some sort. In your case, you were self-aware enough to stop and assess. Thanks for sharing your story Joanne.

  7. So very true. We are so alike. I hate those things I used to deal with at work where they always wanted to know your ethnicity and such. I used to write human being through it. That is the way I dealt with it. #MLSTL

  8. Great video Christie – and so true. We need to look for our commonalities rather than focusing on our differences. I think we also need to remember that there will always be bad eggs, but that doesn’t define a whole “carton” of people. Our world needs so much more acceptance, kindess and love.
    Thanks for linking up with us at MLSTL and I’ve shared on my SM 🙂

    1. Great point, Leanne. We all have commonalities, and at the same time, we are all unique individuals who are not defined by the actions of others in any given category. I remind myself regularly to choose love over judgment. Thank you for hosting #MLSTL and for sharing this post on social media. Have a lovely day!

  9. I have seen that video before and I love it. So easy to judge on appearances or first impressions. I’m reminded of this quote from Nelson Mandela, that reminds us we’re not born being judgemental, it’s a learned experience: “No one is born hating another person because of the color of his skin, or his background, or his religion. People must learn to hate, and if they can learn to hate, they can be taught to love, for love comes more naturally to the human heart than its opposite.” Thanks for sharing this. I will too.

  10. Thanks for sharing this video Christie. I hadn’t seen it. It’s beautiful and says so much. I remember making a negative first impressions judgement of a person I met. We are now best friends. My first impression was so wrong and taught me a big life lesson. #MLSTL Will share

    1. That’s lovely, Jennifer. A few people now have mentioned becoming close friends with someone they did not care for on first impression. There’s a powerful lesson in that for all of us. Thanks for sharing.

  11. The video shows lots of great points and is very moving as others have said. I’ve watched it before and love the point it makes. We are all different but can find similarities without too much effort. Thanks. #mlstl

    1. That’s what I thought too, Deb. When I come in contact with someone of a completely different background or viewpoint, it’s intriguing to think about what shared experiences we may have had.

  12. That video kills me each time I see it. I try not to jump to conclusions about people but I know that I do. It’s always a work in progress. My teacher in this was a woman that we only knew as Shakespeare. She was homeless, would hang out at the yoga studio and beg for money. Sometimes the police would remove her when she exhibited violent tendencies. But in her former life she was an English professor, hence her ability to quote Shakespeare so well. Mental illness is devastating. I try to remember.

    1. I also am a work in progress, Jennifer. I have an affirmation I repeat when I catch myself passing judgment: I choose love over judgment. It stops my negative thought in its tracks and points me in a different direction. I appreciate you sharing the story of the English professor. Mental illness, including addiction, is devastating. These people are someone’s children, people with hopes and fears of their own. There but for the grace of God…

  13. Christie, I had not seen that one. Lovely video. One of the things I’ve loved about blogging is finding people all over the world who I have commonalities with – blogging, dealing with challenges, striving to live more authentically. And those I continue to learn from. Thanks for sharing!

    1. Yes, Pat! I also love that about blogging and am often taken by surprise by how much I have in common with people halfway across the world from me or with backgrounds very different from my own. I see myself in so many of their posts and comments or I read things that speak to me and open my mind to new ideas and ways of seeing things. I’m so happy to have met you and so many others along this journey. Have a lovely day!

  14. I have watched that video before, it is very moving and a great reminder to drop our prejudices. There is such a fine line between protective judgement and nasty prejudice it is sometimes hard to know the difference, but know it we must.

    1. You bring up a good point, Jan. Our first reactions are sometimes the right ones. For me the key is to step back and look at where the reaction is coming from, whether it’s useful, and what my true intent is. In situations where I need to create a protective distance, I can still wish that person well. In all cases, I do my best to choose love over judgment. As you say, it’s not always easy, but it’s worth the effort.

  15. Thanks so much for sharing this, Christie. We all just want to be accepted and loved for who we are, and our nature is to judge others very quickly by outward appearance.

    1. So true Candi. I was just watching a program on television where a woman said, “There’s no one in this world who says ‘I love you’ to me.” That broke my heart. I have a large extended family and am surrounded by love. To not have that would be very difficult. You never know when you come across someone what their life circumstance is or whether they may really need a little kindness or genuine concern.

  16. Thank you for sharing this video. I have seen it before but never grow tired of watching it again.
    What do I have in common with you. I think we are both spiritual in similar ways. You like to run, I do, too. We love family and grandbabes. We blog. And we both enjoy family get-aways to the the beach.
    I am honored to know YOU.

    1. I’m so glad you enjoyed watching the video again. My husband and I watched it together last night. Now that you’ve spelled out our similarities, I realize even more that we have much in common. By the way, I just finished reading Daisy Jones and the 6. I quite enjoyed it. And finally, I’m so glad that we’ve gotten to know each other, even if only virtually. One day, perhaps we can meet in person. XO

  17. Beautiful and wonderful post Christie. i re-shared on FB. Wish everyone in the world would see it. Touched my heart too. Pinned it as well. THANKS for sharing.

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