Christmas carols: for mature audiences only?
I love Christmas music. From the day after Thanksgiving until Christmas night, that’s pretty much all I listen to. There are songs that make me smile, some that make me feel nostalgic and tender, and a few that make me go, “Huh? What they’d just say?”
I recently read Vikki Claflin’s Laugh Lines post about country music lyrics, and it got me thinking about crazy Christmas song lyrics. Of course, there are the obvious contestants: Please Daddy Don’t Get Drunk this Christmas and Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer, but what about the more traditional Christmas carols? What were those songwriters thinking? Here are just a few examples of lyrics that convey more than your typical joyful tidings.
Santa Baby by Joan Javits, Philip Springer, and Tony Springer: This song appears to be about the oldest profession, exchanging “affection” for material goods.
Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree for me. Been an awful good girl. Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight. Santa baby, a ’54 convertible too, light blue. I’ll wait up for you, dear. Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight. Think of all the fun I’ve missed. Think of all the fellas that I haven’t kissed. Next year I could be just as good, If you’ll check off my Christmas list.”
I Saw Momma Kissing Santa Claus by Thomas Patrick Conner: I see years of therapy in this boy’s future.
Then, I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus underneath his beard so snowy white. Oh, what a laugh it would have been if Daddy had only seen Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night!” The popular Jackson 5 version makes matters worse with this bridge: “I did, I really did see mommy kissing Santa Claus, and I’m gonna tell my dad…I did, I did, I really did see mommy kissing Santa Claus. You gotta believe me, you just gotta believe me. Come on, fellas, believe me, you just gotta believe me.”
Not all of the crazy lyrics are about loose morals, some of them are just plain scary.
Santa Claus is Coming to Town by John Frederick Coots and Haven Gillespie: This whole song is pretty much a threat, and in this day and age, would likely result in a restraining order against the Big Guy.
He sees you when you’re sleeping. He knows when you’re awake. He knows when you’ve been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake! You better watch out! You better not cry. Better not pout. I’m telling you why. Santa Claus is coming to town!”
We Wish You a Merry Christmas, author unknown: Here’s a song about someone showing up uninvited at your door, making demands, and refusing to leave until you comply. Can you say “robbery?” Does it make things better or worse, that they throw in some well wishes in the middle of their demands?
Now bring us some figgy pudding. Now bring us some figgy pudding. Now bring some out here. Good tidings we bring to you and your kin. We wish you a Merry Christmas and a happy new year. We won’t go until we get some. We won’t go until we get some. We won’t go until we get some, so bring some out here.”
Sweet Little Jesus Boy by Robert MacGimsey: This song may be the winner of the most troublesome Christmas song ever. I don’t even know what to say about this. “That’s how things are done?” Wow.
A long time ago you were born in a manger, Lord, sweet little Jesus Boy. Now the world treated you mean, Lord, and it’s been treatin’ me mean too, but that’s how things are done now, yeah. We didn’t know it was you.”
And on that note, I wish you all happy holidays—and you don’t even have to give me any figgy pudding!
Your turn
- What is your favorite Christmas song?
- What is the strangest Christmas song lyric you know?
Hi, Christie –
Thanks for helping to rev up the Christmas spirit today. I love Christmas songs, so it is hard to choose just one favourite. One Christmas song/video that I adore is Little Drummer Boy by Bing Crosby and David Bowie. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_ReMi7tVWA
The strangest Christmas song/lyrics that I’ve heard is the adult spoof to Winter Wonderland by Bob Rivers. You can access it here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9URPvejWHk
Wishing you a great Christmas Countdown!
I love the Little Drummer Boy also, but I’m not sure I’ve seen this video, so I’m going to check it out, and of course, I have to view the spoof. Thanks for sharing these links, Donna.
I was at a carol sing at the British Embassy last December. I can’t recall the carol(s) right now but I remember being stunned by some of the words in the second and third verses of these traditional songs. Very interesting blog entry!
So true, Fran. If you stop I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day after the third verse, it’s downright depressing. Carry on through the end, and it cheers up. 🙂
I used to turn up the volume on “Momma got run over by a Reindeer” had my kids in stitches everytime. The other one that I would rock was the “Santa Claus Boogie”
It was good fun all around. Had everyone laughing and laughter is good!
Laughter is good! May your holidays be full of laughter.
These are funny! I heard a song on the CMA Christmas special by Alan Jackson and Chris Young. It sounded beautiful but the lyrics seemed odd to me: They kept referring to Jesus as “a new kid in town.” I also think The Elf on a Shelf is a perfect example of a creeper.?
I’ve heard that one Cindy. Also, I’m glad my children were grown by the time the Elf on a Shelf came along.
I think the creepiest lyric is in the song, “Baby it’s Cold Outside” where she says “what’s in this drink?” to the guy who is trying to talk her into staying. Creeper laced her drink!
My favorite song is we three kings. I like the music more than the lyrics. ?
Yes, Tiffany, I agree. I’ve always thought that song was “cute,” but then when I really listen to the words, it’s a little creepy. I do love the music more than the words of most songs. I just thought of one more with interesting lyrics: Hallelujah. “She tied you to her kitchen chair She broke your throne and she cut your hair And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah.” I know the story, but still kind of a creepy Christmas song.
I’ve not heard that last one… can you hum a few bars? hahahaha
🙂 gwingal
I hummed it as loud as I could, but I’m getting some strange looks! 🙂 Here’s a link to the Kenny Rogers version, which is the one I heard: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7d7Rem8Tu7A
Funny! Some song lyrics – when they are broken down – are really disturbing! Even though I’m not religious, one of the most religious songs, Oh Holy Night, is my very favorite. I also love Jose Feliciano’s Feliz Navidad.
O Holy Night is my favorite too, Janis. The music is so beautiful. I just looked on my iPod, and I have 10 different artists singing that song–not intentionally, but I’ve downloaded several Christmas albums and it appears they all include O Holy Night. Josh Groban is my favorite.
My favourite is “Mary Did You Know?” Pentatonix do a great version of it – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ifCWN5pJGIE
I’ve been listening to Christmas music on Spotify this year at work and loving the free mixes available.
That’s nice Leanne. I have my favorite Christmas music on my iPod, but it’s always nice to break it up with the radio and listen to songs I don’t hear over and over again. 🙂
I teach 12 year olds and they were just talking about the fact that “Santa is watching everything you do” and how that’s just not right! Thanks for sharing at The Blogger’s Pit Stop! Roseann from http://www.thisautoimmunelife.com
Thank you Roseann. I love the Bloggers Pitstop.
Thank you Christie for linking up and co-hosting with me at the #BloggingGrandmothers End of the Year Link Party 2018!
Thank you Dee!