Is it fear or intuition?
You have a big decision to make, but something is holding you back, telling you not to do it. How do you know whether that voice in your head is the wise voice of intuition or the restrictive voice of fear?
Should you take that new job? Accept that proposal? Buy that new house? Write that book? If intuition and fear are both gut reactions, how do you know when to listen to your gut?
I ran headlong into that question recently when the suggestion was made that I consider self-publishing my book (more on that next week). I immediately balked at the idea. My gut told me the book wasn’t good enough and if I self-published, I’d embarrass myself. But was that true? Was my gut lying to me–kindly, but wrongly, trying to keep me safe from a risk that wasn’t real or at least was distorted to unreal proportions? Or was my gut protecting me from putting my book out too soon, while there was work yet to be done?
What is intuition?
Merriam-Webster defines Intuition as “the power or faculty of attaining to direct knowledge or cognition without evident rational thought and inference. Quick and ready insight.” Intuition is your brain and body using information, past and present, in an instant to tell you what is right. While it may not always seem like it, intuition is logical and cognitive–something to heed.
What is fear?
Again I turn to Merriam-Webster, which defines fear as “an unpleasant often strong emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger.” Fear is an emotion–an emotion that can be based on real danger or a false expectation that something bad will happen. Except in the case of a clear and present danger, fear is usually something to work through or face down in order to progress.
How can I tell the difference between intuition and fear?
So, if intuition is something to heed and fear is something to overcome, how do you tell the difference? Based on my personal experience and some online research (see sources below), there are some key characteristics that distinguish the two.
- Intuition happens quietly in an instant. Fear is loud and relentless, often repeating itself over and over.
- Intuition is all about the present. What needs to be done right now? Fear is focused on worrying about the past or the future and usually involves a lot of “what ifs.”
- Intuition is neutral, unemotional. Fear is highly emotionally charged and may cause a rush of adrenaline, triggering the fight or flight response.
- Intuition feels supportive and expansive. Fear feels harsh and restrictive.
Sources:
https://www.huffingtonpost.com/rosalie-puiman/your-gut-feeling-fear-or-_b_6667194.html
https://foreverconscious.com
http://www.thelawofattraction.com/intuition-vs-fear-how-to-follow-your-gut/
https://drjudithorloff.com
Your turn
- Do you agree with the distinctions listed above, or do you have different methods of identifying intuition versus fear?
- If you decide fear is holding you back, what are your tips for overcoming fear and moving forward?
- I’d love it if you’d share an experience of following or ignoring your intuition and what happened?
I think those are good distinctions between fear and intuition.
I feel my intuition a lot when meeting someone new and when I’m driving, but it makes sense that those feelings would be based on experiences I’ve already had.
That being said, I have experienced “mothers intuition” since having Elsie. I feel like I’m very in tune to what’s going on with her (especially when she’s not well). I’m not sure where that comes from, but I do appreciate it!
Mother’s intuition is definitely a thing–whether it comes from being so in tune with our little one’s subtle behavior changes or it is biological instinct or something spiritual, I don’t know. But it’s real, and thank goodness for it. XO
I think those are good distinctions between the two, Christie. My tips for overcoming fear and moving forward is to write the ‘fear’ thoughts down, get them out of your head, research the facts, write down the facts alongside each fear, sometimes this is enough to overcome fear. Talk to someone you trust to get their perspectives might help, too. Focus on positive outcomes and some stress management to conquer the fear. #MLSTL
These are great strategies for facing fear, Natalie. Both the writing and the talking get the fear thoughts out of your head and out into the light of day, where you can address them or dismiss them. Thanks for the insight.
Love this Christie and I hadn’t really thought about fear being worry about past or future, whereas intuition is ‘now’. As someone who second guesses myself and like all of us has fears and worry, I appreciate your thoughts on the difference between fear and intuition. Thank you for another thought provoking post and for being such a valued member of the #MLSTL community. Can’t wait to read more about your book. Have a beautiful week!
Thank you Sue. That idea was new to me too, but rang true when I thought about it. Thanks again for including me in #MLSTL.
Hi, Christie – This is a very thought-provoking post. It is also suspense-building….I look forward to reading more about your self-publishing decision in your post next week! #MLSTL
Thank you Donna. I’m glad you enjoyed it. I hope next week’s post won’t disappoint. 🙂
I have definitively struggled with intuition versus fear. I know that our intuition starts to make more sense to us as we use it more and learn to trust it. One of my distinctions is that if it is my own voice I hear, it is probably my intuition. If it is another voice, such as my mother or a stranger or the collective “others” voice it is probably fear.
Another great distinction, Michele. I will pay attention to that in the future. Thanks for adding your experience to the conversation.
How interesting and this is a timely topic! I have in the past determine much via the ‘fear’ way. What ifs and what will ‘they’ think. I would say that getting cancer (and doing well afterwards) has reduced some of my old fears and is enabling me to ‘trust my inner voice more’. Thanks so much for raising this today! Denyse #MLSTL
First I want to tell you how much I admire you Denyse and appreciate you sharing your journey with us–the struggles and the triumphs. I do think overcoming a challenge of that magnitude has a way of showing you what you’re made of, helps you trust yourself more, and gives you courage to face other fears. Thank you for joining the conversation and sharing your experience with fear and intuition.
That was really interesting Christie – I hadn’t put the two together before and you’re perfectly correct in the differences you point out. It will be something I’m going to be more aware of in the future because I don’t want my decisions being held hostage by fear!
#MLSTL and I’ve shared this on my SM xx
I’m glad you enjoyed it, Leanne. As I was reading your comment, it occurred to me that perhaps at times I have called my fear intuition as a way to avoid doing the hard or scary thing. On some level, I’d tell myself the fear was my intuition warning me I was making a mistake and shouldn’t proceed, when I was really just wanting to get back in my comfort zone. But, as you so perfectly stated, I don’t want my decisions being held hostage by fear either.
I agree with the definitions you’ve used Christie and agree with others that this is a very thought provoking opidea. I’m trying to think of an example to share but the only one I can come up with is when I decided to go zip lining recently the fear was holding me back because of what could happen, but my intuition told me it was relatively safe and I’d be fine (wishful thinking maybe), I was ready to do it in an instant and just went with the flow, didn’t overthink it and enjoyed it immensely. Does that sound right? Thanks for a great post #mlstl
Yes, Debbie, I can definitely relate to your ziplining example. I’m so glad you took the leap (literally) and enjoyed the experience.
This is a good one Christie! I counseled my children when they were growing up ‘When in doubt, don’t.” Whether fear or intuition, I still think this is good advice until you feel in your gut it’s right for you. A lot of times it’s lack of confidence in your own good judgement that fills you with fear and keeps you from following that good judgment and intuition. Sometimes you’ve got to set aside that fear and trust yourself. I’ll be sharing on Facebook and Twitter for #MLSTL
https://meinthemiddlewrites.com/2018/09/07/me-in-the-middle-of-my-third-year-anniversary/
Thanks for joining the discussion Mary Lou. “When in doubt don’t” is probably good advice starting out, at least until you determine whether the doubt is related to intuition or fear–and if fear, is it legitimate danger or lack of confidence. We have to ask ourselves what is at stake and whether the risk is worth the potential reward. Those aren’t always easy questions to answer, are they?
My intuition is pretty good but I do let fear overrule it sometimes. I think this does a good job of explaining the difference.
Thanks Victoria. I suspect we all succumb to fear on occasion. At least, I hope I’m not the only one!
Interesting comparison. It seems that intuition should be void of fear or fearlessness (as it is neutral) but I wonder if people let their emotions color what they call their intuition. I hope your decision to self-publish or try going a more conventional route is based on good, rational analysis… not on intuition or fear. I look forward to reading about your journey!
Good point Janis. One of the articles I read said that intuition can trigger fear, which confuses the matter further. For example, your intuition tells you to take the new job, but making that change scares you. You get the picture. For me, intuition seems especially helpful when choosing between two good alternatives. Of course, you often need some good, rational analysis to get to those alternatives.
Christie, The differences intuition and fear you’ve outlined are right on the mark. I listen to my little voice. It’s never steered me wrong. Too many of us don’t trust our instincts and act out of fear, not out of what we intuitively know to be true. Even if we take a few moments and do some research or think about it, as though we’re reporters, working on a story, I think we’d go with our intuition every time. Such a wonderful, powerful piece. Thank you. I’m going to share this with my network. #MLSTL Brenda
Thank you Brenda. I’ve been working on learning to trust my instinct more–to do some research where warranted–but not overthink things, which often leads to the fear factor and second-guessing myself. I appreciate you stopping by and taking the time to comment. Have a lovely weekend!
Love this Christie, and I found your insights fascinating. I’ve often wondered what the tug in my gut really means, and should I act on it but once I start deliberating then it’s all too often taken over by ‘what – ifs’ and fear, or a whole lot of self imposed logic. #MLSTL
That sounds familiar, Jo. I’m still trying to find the right balance between deliberating and doing. One thing I’m trying is to go with my gut on things that aren’t of big consequence. If my first instinct is to go running versus the gym, just do that, don’t stop to weigh out the pros and cons of each. Asking where I want to go to dinner can turn into a major decision, so I’m trying to just pick one, maybe the first thing that pops into my head. That may seem like a no-brainer, but for us over-thinkers, it’s not a given and is a good way to practice. Thanks for stopping by and joining the conversation.
This is great Christie — very clear distinction that seems right on point to me. Living with a husband and son who are very much driven my intuition and having a ‘sixth sense’, I see intuition in action often. You are spot on. Thanks for another thought-provoking post.
I’m glad you enjoyed it Janet. I wish I felt more confident in my own intuition, and I am working on it.
I love the four characteristics that help distinguish between fear and intuition. Very helpful!
Sharing for MLSTL
Thank you Trisha. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
I’m going to start looking at things with your distinction … I think I’m too often basing things on fear. I need to start using more intuition! Very interesting post!
Thanks Pat. It’s not always easy to tell the difference, but I’m working on it.
I have never thought of this dichotomy between fear and intuition – but I like what you shared. I am doing lots of soul-searching lately and I know these two things: 1) I’m tired of fear preventing me from living an abundant life … and 2) I need to trust myself more.
I am pinning this to my #mlstl board for future reference. I think I have some journaling to do this week 🙂
Those are some pretty powerful insights, Molly, about fear and trust. This is an amazing phase of life, isn’t it? I wish you an abundant life and look forward to reading about your adventures.
The difference between the two confuses me at times as I question myself trying to decide is it really fear or just my intuition. You clearly defined each perfectly! Thank you Chrisite for linking up and co-hosting at the #BloggingGrandmothersLinkParty 31 with me! Shared x 4 ♥
Thank you Dee. I hope it’s helpful for you when the next situation arises that you have to determine which you are feeling. Thanks for sharing.