Make your mess your message
Last week, I shared with you some wisdom from David Sedaris’s MasterClass on storytelling. In response to his questions, you shared some wonderful stories. Thank you. Thank you. If you haven’t yet read those stories, you might want to check out the comments on this post…but be sure to come back! I have more MasterClass wisdom for you this week.
Having completed the Sedaris MasterClass, I have now moved on to Robin Roberts’ class on authentic and effective communication. I promise this blog isn’t going to become a summary of all my MasterClass courses, but the first thing Robin said struck a chord in terms of blogging: make your mess your message. In other words, when life hands you a challenge…or a mess…ask yourself what am I supposed to learn from this, and what can I share with others?
So when she got the mess of a cancer diagnosis, she decided her message was one of early detection. Five years later, when she was diagnosed with myelodysplastic syndrome (MDS), a rare blood disorder affecting the bone marrow, her message was the existence of the registry for the National Marrow Donor Program.
Courageous bloggers
As I thought about the courageous people I know who have taken this lesson to heart and made their messes their messages, I thought of several of the bloggers I’ve come to know and respect. These women have been powerfully vulnerable in sharing their personal stories and the life lessons learned.
Ashley Arvanitis shares her story of rebuilding life following drug addiction (full disclosure: she is my daughter).
Denyse Whelan shares her story of triumph over head and neck cancer.
Leanne on Cresting the Hill shares the challenge of finding her authentic self and learning to define life on her own terms after leaving the workforce in a traumatic fashion.
Deb at Deb’s World shares the difficulties and joys of having a grandchild born at 25 weeks, weighing just over 800 grams (that’s less than 2 pounds, for my American friends).
These are just a few examples. Many more of you have shared deeply personal messes and messages, and I thank you for them. Please continue. Your messages often mean more than you know.
In my own experience, some of the most touching responses I have received are on those blogs where I took a risk and shared something difficult in my life. More than a year after writing this post about coping with my brother’s sudden death, I still hear from people saying, “Thank you for sharing this. It helped me so much in coping with my own loss.”
Your turn
- Do you have a favorite blog, book, or other example of someone turning their mess into a message that uplifted or educated you?
- Do you have a mess that you could turn into a message? If you have already done so, where can we find it?
- What else is on your mind? Anything at all; I just love hearing from you.
Hi Christie – thanks so much for including me in your “messy” list – I sometimes wonder if I should share the messier side of things – leaving a toxic job due to almost falling apart at the seams for starters, and the ups and downs of getting past all that was a bit of a risk for me, but I love that I hear from others about how they’ve been through similar experiences – there are a lot of us who’ve had to deal with other people letting us down, and rising up from the mess.
I’m not a fan of shiny, fake stuff – which is why I avoid IG and it’s “influencers” who all look the same – I like real, nitty-gritty life and it’s when we get real that connection starts – and we share our stories with those who are also figuring their way through their ups and downs – it’s a type of synergy really and I love that – thanks for being part of my synergy xx
You’re welcome Leanne. I couldn’t agree more. Authentic communication requires vulnerability and messiness, and that’s where the meaningful connections happen. That’s where we help each other and ourselves. I make a conscious effort to focus on the positive, but that doesn’t mean I ignore the difficult or challenging…that I pretend nothing bad exists. If people think I am grateful because my life is easy or perfect, I’m not doing anyone any favors. If people see that I struggle, that I get knocked down, that I make colossal mistakes, but I still find life worthwhile and joyful, maybe that offers some hope…or at least the comfort of knowing we are all in this together.
That sums it up beautifully Christie – and is exactly how I feel too xx
Hi, Christie – You’ve mentioned some awesome blogs here. The only one unfamiliar to me is Ashley’s. I’m off to check it out now.
Thanks Donna. I know there are so many others that could be added to this list. These are the ones that jumped into my mind–probably because I’d recently visited them. I hope you enjoy Ashley’s blog. I’d love to hear of any others you’d add.
It’s not a public message, but I know my cancer gave me something to share personally with others who have cancer. The experience gave me more compassion and some understanding of what they are going through and I try to give support, love and hope.
A good point, Cindy. Not all messages are public. Some of the most authentic, effective communication happens one-on-one. You are one of the most compassionate, supportive people I know. XO
I love the idea of “the mess being the message”. I hope I don’t shy away from the reality of life in my blog. I know I’ve talked the “down moments” … hey, I get a call from my mom and my sister, and direct e-mails from friends when I’m not being my more usual (working on it) optimistic self! I think being real, mess and all, can help others feel they are not alone – with their own mess, challenges, etc. Thanks fro sharing another tidbit from the MasterClasses you’re taking!
I feel the “real” in your blog, Pat. I love that your family checks on you if they sense something is off with you from your blog. I also try to be optimistic and grateful–in my blog and in life–while at the same time being honest about the challenges. Here’s to our beautiful, messy lives!
Christie, thank you for collecting the inspiring stories of women who have made their mess their message. I love that line. I have been writing in my blog lately about dealing with anxiety that surfaces when I run. It is a little mess, to be sure, but it affects my outlook on life.
That’s so interesting, Laurie, that anxiety is arising when you run. Most of us think of releasing anxiety with physical activity. I must say I often get a little anxious before a run–even an easy run that isn’t training for anything. I’m not sure what that is about.
Spent longer than usual hopping about Ashley’s world, getting to know her. Hope she is continuing to do well and move forward to realizing all of her dreams. I noticed it has been a few months since she posted. Hope she will do a check in post!
I remember reading the posts of the other 3 women and the messes or difficulties they have endured and surmounted. Amazing. What doesn’t kill us makes us stronger, right? But sometimes we get weary.
I think we can all claim the mess of this virus…the weariness and worry. Many of the bloggers I follow have begun expressing their exhaustion with this long journey that is 2020. Hope we can look to brighter days in the coming year…just a few more weeks.
Ashley is doing well, Leslie, just very busy with a full-time nursing position and three children. She promises a new post is in the works and coming soon. You are so right about people being COVID-weary. I know I am. I miss the easy human connection, and I’m tired of the constant worry in the back (or forefront) of my mind…worry for myself and my family…worry for our hospital system…worry for people who are losing their livelihoods…the list goes on. I don’t want to have to weigh the benefits of spending face-to-face time with my loved ones against the risk of illness. I am hopeful that there is a vaccine on the horizon that will be safe and effective. In the meantime, I will do my best to take care of myself and others. Hang in there! This too shall pass.
Hi Christie, I love this post. Thanks for mentioning so many of my friends who have battled different issues and share them through blogging. I have quoted you in my post for this week about communication. Thanks again for looking me up. 🙂
Thank you, Marsha. I appreciate the shout out. I admire those who are willing to share their experiences and knowledge gained with us. I look forward to connecting more with you now that I have found you.