Allowing room for suffering
I have a good life. I have been blessed, and I am deeply grateful…I am. But lately I’ve been feeling out of sorts. There is so much uncertainty…pain…anger…suffering all around.
Okay, I know…all of life is uncertain, and no one escapes suffering…but everything feels magnified at the moment. A polarizing presidential election in the middle of a pandemic, hurricane season, and the heightened expression of racism, violence, and disrespect for others…it’s too much. Could any of us really be blamed for wanting to curl up in bed, pull the blankets over our heads, and wait for the storm to pass?
Of course, that’s not really an option, but is it okay to take a breather? Turn away from the shouting for my attention…sit quietly…feel sorry for myself even? I know I have it better than so many other beings around the world. Is it selfish to take time out to languish in my own small sufferings for a time when others don’t have that luxury?
In the end, it doesn’t really matter what is right or okay. The fact is I do feel sad…I am tired…I am agitated. Adding guilt into the mix won’t make those feelings go away. Ignoring them…or denying their existence…won’t make them go away either.
From experience, I know what will help. Accepting the emotions…giving them their day…and then gently returning my focus to gratitude for the good things in my life and taking action on the things that are within my control.
So that’s what I will do.
In the meantime, I send you loving kindness.
May you be safe. May you be happy. May you be healthy. May you be at ease.
Namu amida butsu.
Your turn
- How are you feeling today?
- What’s on your mind? Anything at all. I just love to hear from you.
Thank you, Christie. I wish the same for you ♥
Thank you Dee.
It can be exhausting, Christie. I have my ups and downs (mostly ups) but I think taking a breather – especially from social media – is important. Take good care of yourself.
So true Janis. The division and lack of tolerance for opposing opinions in the United States is very evident in social media right now. I’ve taken to “snoozing” a lot of people. I probably would benefit from just taking a break from social media altogether.
I think you wrote this just for me, but I bet others feel the same way. I’ve really been unhappy with changes at my work, a lot of them because of Covid. I needed to complain, feel sorry for myself, and be mad for a minute, (or maybe a a week) but I’m starting to feel better already. I needed this post. Thanks! I love you!
I love you too Cindy, and I am glad you are starting to feel better. I hope things continue to improve. We are pretty lucky to have each other to lean on, vent to, and cheer up!
Hi, Christie. I wholeheartedly agree that accepting our emotions, giving them their day, and moving on from their is a very wise plan.
Sending loving kindness right back to you!
Thank you Donna. It’s true…bottling up emotions or denying them never seems to work. What I really need is some time on the beaches of Mazatlan! ?
The world seems exhausting just now Christie. I do understand how your feeling and I think your attitude to how you plan to cope is perfect. Take care.
Thank you Jennifer. Your kindness and support is much appreciated.
Hi Christie, it is so important to be able to express our feelings and not feel guilty, unappreciative or self-pity. We have had a trying time in Australia this year but definitely nothing compared to all the US is going through at the moment. Sending you a big hug and love from Down Under. xx #mlstl
Thank you Sue. It has been a trying time for so many. Overall, I have been quite fortunate in my personal experience compared to what so many have suffered. I think it’s the cumulative low-grade stress that has gotten to me. It helps to feel the love and support of my blogging buddies from around the world. Thanks for the virtual hug.
Hi Christie – interesting that you should write this – I wrote on a similar topic last week with my feeling of being “out of kilter”. I’m not sure what it is, but there’s definitely a sense of being out of sorts with all that’s going on in the world right now. So much that we don’t want to happen seems to be popping up regularly – covid, riots, protests, weather events…… I’m looking to the future and hoping for a change before we all decide to go to bed and pull the blanket over our heads forever! Hang in there – good stuff is coming xx
Hello Leanne. Your post last week resonated with me. I’m sure we’re not the only ones feeling this way. It’s a challenging time. I hope that we can make things right…or at least move things in a positive direction before too long. The changing of the seasons always makes me feel as if everything is new and anything is possible. That’s what I am hoping for this fall (spring–for you)! Take care of yourself, and thank you for the encouragement.
Not wrong at all to feel like this Christie and I ‘retreated’ for a few weeks in august just to give myself a break and it was good. I still felt guilty and selfish but it was what I needed to do. I feel for you and hope you can bounce back when you’re ready. #mlstl
Thank you Debbie. I’m glad you took a step back to care for yourself and that it helped. The interesting thing about how I’m feeling is that things are really quite good for me personally–my job is going well, my immediate family and I have all been healthy, we have a beautiful new home to which to retreat. I think the chaos all around me makes me feel guilty about my own good fortune. Perhaps I need to filter out some of the noise (political fighting mostly), and then after a brief rest, choose a cause to which to contribute my efforts and try to be part of the solution in a more focused way, realizing I can’t fix everything, but I can help in some small way. Thank you for your words of love and support. I am feeling a little better already.
Christie, maybe not your intent, but your post brought me a sense of calmness. Almost a moment of quiet; a deep breath. And yeah, needed. Thank you. Every little thing these days feels like the “straw breaking the camel’s back”… I’ve got no reserve at all. And then I feel guilty because I am truly blessed. White privilege, financially secure, healthy. Thanks for the insight to accept the emotion and just breath. Thanks for the loving kindness….sending it right back at you.
I am happy to hear that my words brought a little calm or space to breath, Pat. Often when we are honest and vulnerable about how we are feeling, it seems to speak to someone else. In fact, you described perfectly how I have been feeling. For now, I’ll just take one day at a time, taking care of myself and others the best that I can in each moment…with plenty of breathing and resting in between. Take care.
Christie, allowing yourself to verbalize your feelings and taking a moment to pause is a sign of strength, not weakness. Take care.
Thank you for the encouraging words, Suzanne. You take care of yourself as well!
It helps to hear that others are feeling this way. I thought it was only me. There are so many things affecting me right now, I’m not even sure I can identify the cause. I guess it’s the cumulative effect of all of them. I hope over time the funk will pass. For now, it’s one day at a time. Take care.
You are definitely not alone Linda. As you said, I think it really is a cumulative effect. One day at a time…sometimes one breath at a time…is the only way to go right now. Take care of yourself as well.
You are loved. And you are not alone. I have more roller coaster weeks than I am used to having. Things will seem good and then…BAM…a bad day or not bad, but contemplative, sad day will pop up. Felt like that yesterday. Took a nap, which helped. I want to try to analyze why I am feeling the way I am. But often it is what it is…I can analyze my feelings but that doesn’t mean I will feel them less.
Hope this week has been kinder and gentler. I am so worried about where our world is headed, I nagged PC into buying a new security system for our home and we are using it. Totally out of character for me. I am the girl whose front door would blow open all the time with the slightest breeze. One day in frustration I asked my daughters how to prevent that and they suggested I lock the door! Ha! Never occurred to me. Hate that it occurs to me to set our alarm every night these days.
Thank you Leslie. These are challenging times, and we need all the love we can get…and give. We rarely locked the door in my childhood home, but always keep our door locked now…even during the day. We live in a friendly, well-kept neighborhood where I feel comfortable walking alone and sitting out in the yard, but you just never know. It’s become habit now. I also wish you a kinder, gentler week. Take care of yourself. Sending hugs.
Hi Christie, sorry you’re feeling like this. I think it’s just part of modern life. I’m not good in these kinds of moods, and I feel sorry for those close to me who have to live with me at these times. One thing I have noted, is that when I’m busy, both physically and mentally, I don’t get these days/weeks where I’m feeling out of sorts. I always feel much better when I’m doing something. I hope you’re starting to feel better.
Thank you Cheryl. I agree if I am busy and my mind is occupied, I don’t get in these moods much. I find that physical activity and nature are the best cures for me. I hope all is well with you. Enjoy your day!
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Thank you for hosting Dee.
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