What I learned in my first month of retirement
I can hardly believe it’s been a month since I stepped out of the office and into retirement. (It seems a lot of my posts begin with a comment on how time flies. If you are interested in the perception of time going faster, check this out.)
Anyway, what was I saying? Ah, yes…it has been a full month since I left my office for the final time. This is no temporary vacation. I am really and truly retired.
Not surprisingly, the first couple of weeks felt like vacation…like this couldn’t possibly be “real life.” As the realness of it began to soak in, a weight slipped from my shoulders. No more Sunday night stress. No more forced sleep schedule that doesn’t match my body’s natural sleep pattern. No more squeezing gym classes, appointments, and personal errands into evenings and weekends. No more meetings to chair or attend…no more contracts to edit…no more products or acquisitions to implement. Those days are behind me.
So, if all that is behind me, what is ahead of me?
I promised myself for the first month of retirement I would avoid making any big plans or taking on any major projects…that I would allow myself to experience more being and less doing. For the most part, I’ve kept that promise. (Pause for a quick pat on the back!) I have had to catch and stop myself a few times when my mind starts mulling “shoulds” or questioning the lack of accomplishment.
And of course, I haven’t just been sitting still “being” for the past 30 days. So what have I been doing? In no particular order:
- Reading for pleasure
- Doing jigsaw puzzles
- Floating in the pool
- Watching television
- Running errands with my husband
- Meeting with friends and family
- Going to live theater
- Walking the dog
- Having a technical audit of my blog
- Taking online SEO courses
- Doing yoga
- Going to Orangetheory Fitness
- Increasing my meditation time
- Participating in a sound bath
- Getting a massage
- Solving Wordles
What’s next?
Now that my month of R&R has come to an end, what’s next? First, the twice COVID-delayed trip to Alaska to scatter my mother’s ashes. And then I think I will be ready for a project…or shall I say adventure? That sounds more inviting, doesn’t it? Here are some of the things I’ve considered for starters:
- Redesigning this website
- Editing and publishing my novel
- Downsizing/decluttering household belongings
- Walking a Camino
- Learning more about video
- Taking a more active role in my husband’s business
If you’ve got any stories or tips on any of those items, I’d love to hear them. Please share in the comments below or send me an email.
What have I learned?
So, the title of this post indicates that I have learned something from all of this. To avoid claims of false advertising, I probably should include a few nuggets of wisdom gained. (Please don’t judge my idea of wisdom too harshly.)
- Your worth is not tied to achievement. It is okay not to be working towards some accomplishment. Giving yourself express permission not to strive or achieve for a set period of time may help you relax into the experience and enjoy it more. It did me.
- Taking retirement benefits into consideration when making job decisions and putting money away for retirement pays off. When that first pension and 401(k) withdrawal hit my banking account, I took a deep, satisfied sigh of relief. I’ve always had a complicated relationship with money, and I think there was a part of me that feared it wouldn’t come through for me in the end. It did.
- Connected is the perfect WOTY for me going into retirement. Since January, I have focused on being connected to this moment, connected to my authentic self, connected to my amazing body, connected to my loved ones, and connected to all beings and Mother Earth. Those strengthened connections have made the transition to less structure and more free time much smoother.
Your turn
That was a lot about me. I’d love to hear about you. Some ideas to get you started:
- If you are retired, or have made another recent life transition, what lesson learned can you share with us?
- Are you accomplishment driven? If so, what helps you control that, or do you even try?
- How did you learn about finances and money management? Do you have an easy or complicated relationship with money?
- What else would you like us to know about you? Anything at all; it doesn’t need to be related to anything in this post.
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Hi, Christie – Congratulations on an awesome start to your retirement. Your takeaways are very wise indeed. Yes to you walking a Camino — I know that you will love it. And double yes to you publishing your novel. I greatly look forward to reading it.
Thank you, Donna. I’m thinking about starting with the final 100km of the Camino Portugues. I just have to convince my husband to go along. I haven’t told him yet! (I’ll guess we’ll find out if he reads my blog comments.)
Christie, there was never a doubt that you would ease into retirement with the same positive attitude that you have always displayed here. Your self-awareness and attention to the things and people that matter in your life will serve you well.
I like your ‘what’s next’ list and look forward to watching you check things off. I gave my blog a facelift last year and found it very rewarding. I think that is something we all need to pay attention to in order to keep it fresh. I have learned a little about taking and editing videos (using IMovie) on my phone this past year, but I have yet to tackle that feature on my camera. I have also committed to a Pelaton class 2 x per week and get excited when I make progress. I’ll never walk a Camino, but walking the neighborhood is fun. Decluttering is always a good idea, and publishing a book, well, I’ll leave that to you, with my good wishes.
Connected is the right WOTY for you as you work your way through this transition. Congratulations on completing one month of retirement.
Thank you for the encouraging words, Suzanne. When you gave your blog a facelift recently, did you change themes or just tweak the elements in your current theme?
Christie, I did a little of both. Changing the theme was easier than I thought since you can preview before you select the change. I also deleted my Instagram feed and added blogs I read on the side in that space. I just noticed today that I don’t have a ‘search’ box. Something I definitely need to do. Anyway, good luck with whatever you decide. I’m sure it will look great.
I haven’t changed my theme or my photos since I started my blog, so I’m thinking it’s time. Thanks for sharing your experience. I like the preview feature.
Just so good to read this Christie!
What a good way to ease into a less achievement centred role after work life finished
I have been retired in some form or another for almost 20 years.. one was due to ill health so it was a relief to be away from schools but in the end I returned for another 6 years.
Then it was part of our plan to sell & move & by 65 I didn’t want to work or take care of grandkids anymore but the transition took its toll on my emotional & physical health which, with no causation suggested, had a cancer diagnosis happen…and that with its many weeks & months of surgeries, recoveries & treatments has now concluded after 5 years & I am 72.
I was not good with money – knew how to spend it & to help our family out but in the end some of those choices have truly bitten. We are in a low to middle annual pay range from my husbands super & Govt pension.
I found I still had achievements as a goal & labels based on work as part of me. I am grateful now to be well & for the FIRST time ever being me & taking time for ME (& sharing more in company of my husband) is at last, a good way to be retired!
Take care & loving your journey !
Denyse
Thank you for the encouragement, Denyse, and for sharing your story. I have watched (through your blog) and been inspired by your journey. I am so happy to hear you taking time for yourself and appreciating being you. Enjoy the journey!
I can’t believe it’s been a month since you retired! It sounds like it was a good one. I look forward to hearing what’s next.
I do have a somewhat complicated relationship with money. I don’t know if it’s because we grew up without a lot of it, or because my husband is frugal, but I often feel guilty after spending money. I wonder if I was super rich if I would feel the same way. I’d like to find out! ?
I am looking forward to my first post-retirement trip with you sister! I do think our upbringing contributed to how we look at money. Even as careful as I have been about saving and not living beyond my means, I hold onto this fear that something catastrophic will happen to take it all away. I am comfortable with my spending habits; it’s the unexpected that scares me. I’m working on releasing the need to cling and enjoying the moment. I think of Mom and how we worried about her spending; and in the end, she had exactly what she needed, and she got to enjoy it all while she was here on earth.
I have no doubt that you will continue to enjoy a successful retirement – no matter what you choose to do (or not do). I love your lists of current and future activities, many of which I share. I look forward to reading your novel and hearing about your Camino walk!
Thank you, Janis. It seems, based on comments, that the novel and Camino are the most intriguing items on the list.
Hi Christie – well done on the first month (and the first bank payment!) It’s a big change of mindset and self-perception to no longer have a job and there’s a need to redefine how we see ourselves. That takes a while (well, it did for me). I love all those little joys you mentioned – especially sleeping on my own schedule and all the free time I have these days. Good on you for having some plans – but also not locking yourself too tightly into a timeframe. 🙂
Thank you, Leanne. You have definitely been an inspiration for me on this journey.
I’ve changed up my “plans” multiple times now in retirement. And I expect I will again! Yes, everything from being a consultant (that lasted about 3 years) to how we would be snowbirds (that lasted about 4 years). Some of my “projects” took longer than expected (move to Florida took 2 years to execute after saying yes) and some just went to the sidelines (yearly big travel). For me, I’d say try things on (even the active role in hubby business) and see if it works or not. And if not, it’s OK to stop! These day’s my “big achievement” could be reading a book for my summer study, exploring a new craft approach, or simply engaging in one of my fun regular activities – cardio drumming, book club, or a fun play date. It’s nice to hear you’re feeling “settled” into retirement already!
I love this, Pat…the idea that no decision or direction is permanent. The lovely thing about life, and retirement particularly, is the ability to try things on for size, and if they don’t fit, try something else. Thank you for all the support and advice you’ve offered along the way, through your publications and to me personally.
Keep things flexible so you have time to innovate and be impulsive – apart from an 11am (very approximate because it changes to fit my day) coffee stop, I avoid routine. Reading your blog, I’m certain you are going to make a success of retirement. My one striving ambition in retirement has been happiness and I find it through my new CAREER: creativity, acceptance, relationships, exercise, exploration, rewards.
I love your new CAREER, Caree, and that you have a standing coffee stop. It sounds like you’ve got this retirement thing pretty well figured out!
I retired, made a cross country move, and then went back work to work three more times. When I stopped that nonsense, I came to accept that it was okay to garden, quilt, read, or just be depending upon the day. In my experience, retirement is personal and changes as one ages. Introvert? Extrovert? I think that makes an impact along with physical conditions, interests, and finances. Retirement is definitely not a one size fits all, and I’m sure you’ll find and enjoy your own special path.
It sounds as if you have found your path, Judy. I especially appreciate that you are flexible to do what feels right depending on the day. I also agree that there isn’t just one “right” way to retire. It’s been fun to hear what others are doing with their retirement.
I went part-time some years back and had one fixed non-working day/week (with some additional flextime). I found it wonderful once I got past the idea that I had to fit all my appointments into that day and learned to use it for entirely selfish (and non-accomplishment) pleasures. Now I’ve a business of my own as my day job employment winds down, there’s more to do and fit in, and I do miss that sense of freedom for “wasting” time. In truth, I still do waste time occasionally, but now I feel guilty about it 😀
Oh & I have a difficult relationship with money, hence why I’m still working at my age. Getting out of that relationship before resolving finances wasn’t the best of ideas… Fortunately, I love my new business (or I do when it’s not marketing!)
I think it’s great to schedule a day for selfish, non-accomplishment pleasures while you are working full-time. Self-employment is a bit more challenging. My husband owns his own business, and before he started scaling back, we used to joke that self-employment is great, because you can choose your own hours…as long as you choose 80 of them a week! ? Money relationships can be tricky. I’m glad you love what you do. I hear you on the marketing aspect. I’m not much of a sales person either.
Oh that ’80 of them a week’ is so true 😀
It’s why I agreed with my other half that I’d be balanced, keeping my evenings and weekends free for normal life. Sometimes my brain is still racing around, but mostly I appreciate the opportunity to do other stuff I love – like photography – instead.
Sometimes it is difficult to slow our brains down. I am glad that you are taking time to enjoy other interests, Debs.
Happy for you now that you’re settling into retirement. I’ve always had a bit of a routine since I retired but it has changed over time. But that’s the beauty of retirement!! Just do what feels right and you’ll be happy. No one else can tell you what to do!!
That is indeed the beauty of retirement, Linda, being able to do what feels right and not what someone else tells you to do! Yea!!
Hi, Christie! I haven’t read your blog in a while, and I don’t know why, because it IS one of my favorites. So I’m just now learning that you’ve retired, so let me say CONGRATULATIONS! I retired from teaching 12 years ago. I was 55. People kept asking me what I was going to do. That question amazed me, because to me the answer was so simple: I’m going to live life!
My first grandchild was born just before I retired, so being free to drive down to Houston and enjoy her as much as I could was so wonderful! I also grew a lot more as a gardener. I do feel more accomplished when I get up early and get going, as opposed to the days I choose to be lazy. I’ve had so many wonderful experiences since I’ve retired, and I look forward to many more.
My husband just retired last October, so now we’ve learned to be retired TOGETHER which is another dimension to retired life. I think it’s important to still give each other our own independent times, and we do that for each other.
Money? I feel that most of my adult life I’ve had an easy relationship with it. That’s not to say at all that we have a lot of money, but I’m okay with living within our means.
One question I have for YOU, since you are the only other blogger I know who goes to OTF as I do…now that you have more freedom to choose, which class time do you prefer to attend? My preferred time right now is 7:30 a.m., which they don’t offer every day, and many days I have trouble getting up early enough to attend it. I have lengths of time when I’m really good to get up and get there at that time, but then once I start slacking, it’s really hard to get back in that groove. Right now I’ve been going at either 8:45 or 10:00. I need to work at getting myself back into an earlier routine. I’m just happier overall when I get an early start.
Thank you, Gale, for the kind words about my blog and the congratulations on retirement. So far, I am loving it and not having any trouble with boredom. We actually just got back from a trip to Alaska. It was nice not to have to worry about how much vacation time I was using or when I should return to the office. My husband works from home (self-employed) and his hours vary, so there are days when we spend most of the day together and others when he is in his office and I’m doing my own thing, so it’s been a nice transition period.
My OTF studio offers classes at 8:30 and 9:45 a.m. on weekdays, which I have been alternating between, depending on what I have on tap for the rest of the day. There is a 7:15 class, but that’s a little early for me…at least for now. I’ve been enjoying no alarm on most days, which means I wake up between 7:30 and 8:00 a.m. I have missed going while we were on vacation and look forward to getting back this week.
Christie, so much I want to say, but right now, before I forget, what is this technical blog audit of which you write? Can you give me a few details and how to go about getting one? I think Wayward Sparkles needs its oil changed and a little fresh air in its tires. Any info you have to share would be much appreciated!
Also, you sound like you got tons done during your first month of retirement. Congratulations. Money and I are both complicated…together and apart. I am “trying to get around obstacles” driven. You know that song “You can’t always get what you want” by the Stones? My ex used to say that to me all of the time. I use that as my, “Oh, yeah, just watch me!” trigger to get me going when little seems to be going my way!
I hope all goes well in Alaska! That must be bittersweet. Also, what does “walking a Camino” mean? Mona
Hello Mona. First to answer your questions, a site audit looks for any security issues or speed drags on your site. I use MaAnna at BlogAid. I highly recommend her. You can learn more here: https://blogaid.net/site-audits/. The Camino de Santiago is a pilgrimage of Medieval Origin to the Cathedral of Santiago de Compostela in Galicia, in the northwest of Spain. There are many different routes, and thousands of people “pilgrims” walk them each year over a period of days or weeks. There is so much more to it than that. You should definitely Google it or look on YouTube. I’m curious to see what you think! Donna at Retirement Reflections has walked several of them.
Our trip to Alaska was bittersweet, and like most things in life, didn’t go exactly as planned. But Mom’s final wishes have been fulfilled, and I am at peace with that.
Christie,
Thanks for the info. I will definitely look her up. A blogger friend is finishing up a trip to Spain. Do you read LA’s blog, Waking Up on the Wrong Side of 50? She might have mentioned this, but I don’t think she did. It sounds amazing, though. I’m glad you were able to fulfill your Mom’s wishes. Peace is hard to attain at times, but so worth it for that moment of gratitude and “ahhh!” M
Thanks, Mona. I have not read LA’s blog, but I plan to visit it now. Peace can be elusive, so I am enjoying it while it lasts. ☺️